Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tired and Weary

I've had a relatively mild case of insomnia over the last few days. I have not gotten enough sleep and it's starting to catch up with me in the form of yawns, headaches, sleepiness, an inability to process thoughts the way I'd like to, and more outwardly - crankiness. Being cranky is one of those things that will creep up on you when you least expect it; you think you're fine, and then you come out with some sort of unkind word or action totally outside of your normal character boundaries.

It's awful for you and those around you. I actively hate being cranky.

Sunday when we were at church I noticed that there were these tiny cards sitting near the programs with the logo for the current message series on the book of Galatians on the back. I grabbed a couple of these to take home, and as I was walking away from the table I flipped it over to read what was on the other side.

Galatians 5:22-23 "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"

At the time it didn't really hit my heart all at once, but I thought it was a great verse and clearly relevant to the message that our pastor delivered that day. I left the cards in my pocket and placed them on my dresser that night when I emptied my pockets. Little did I know that Saturday was not going to be the only night of lousy sleep I would get over the next few days... I also slept lousy on Sunday night and last night. A lack of sleep leaves me vulnerable for the sins of the tongue; I'm apt to release the kind of tongue-lashings on others (especially my poor husband) that we're warned against in the book of James.

This morning after being cranky with Steve, whining about going to the gym, and finding my fuse extremely short... I noticed the little cards on my dresser again this morning. I re-read the verse, and haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day. Where's the law that says that being overtired requires a certain level of nastiness with others and an overall negative attitude towards the day? Where does it say that because I didn't get enough sleep that I'm to be unkind to my loved ones (because I know they'll love me anyways)? Where is the requirement that says I must overlook the joys in life and lose my patience at every turn?

There isn't one!

So today I have spent the better part of it with my eyes turned towards God. Praying that the Holy Spirit fill my heart and help me to turn away from the dark, cranky, mean parts of being overtired. Whenever I can feel my patience slipping through my fingers, I've prayed that the Holy Spirit catch it and reign it in.

With the Holy Spirit in my heart, the cranky part of me that I've been battling for the last 48 hours or so is easier to reign in. I thank God for His grace and His love and His word... without them, this bought of lousy sleep patterns would be that much more unbearable: for me and everyone else.

1 comment:

kat said...

Being cranky is horrible. Glad you found a way to help you "overcome" it.