Top 5 Things I Won't Miss About the Toddler/PreK Phase

In approximately a week and a half I'll begin the process hated by parents everywhere of training my child to use the toilet and no longer urinate and defecate at will in their pants. Seriously - have you ever heard a parent say "Boy, I can't wait to start potty training!" because I certainly haven't.

Potty training is tedious, frustrating, and boring. I would rather wake up every 2 hours to nurse again, and I've already shared my thoughts with you all about babyhood and not missing it.

But... since kids can't crap their pants forever... here I am, getting ready to potty train my daughter - the more headstrong of my two children - and release her from the chains of the diaper.

And this has got me thinking. I LOVE this phase with my kids. They're adorable, they play together really well, they haven't gotten a verbal filter yet so some of the things that come out of their mouths are hilarious, they're discovering how things work and how to navigate the world and take healthy risks. They're at the perfect age for short day trips and still nap in the car allowing us to take longer adventures sometimes. And the best part - they still think I'm cool and awesome, and so there are pretty much endless snuggles, hugs, kisses, high-fives, and silliness abounds.

There are things, however, that I won't miss about this stage. And so I give you, in no particular order...

1. Diapers - Since I've already opened this door, I might as well close it. I've managed to find decent diapers at a good price at our closest Aldi's, but I'm still spending $37.47 for 216 diapers for one kid each month. That's $449.64 in diapers for an entire year - and I just recently found them at that price, which means I had been paying more than that. So let's say $500-600/year on diapers for ONE kid, and for Evie's first year of life I was diapering 2 kids. Go on and vomit now on how much I've spent in diapers, and if you've got more than two kids go on and vomit twice. Do you have any idea what I could be doing for FUN with $500-600/year with my kids? Like... a lot of things. that's what. Never mind that there's very little appealing about wiping up a behind full of squished, disgusting poop that either I didn't smell or a kid didn't alert me to right away and is now smeared all over their behind rather than being in a nice neat little patty with simple wiping required for cleanup. As much as I hate potty training, it's temporary and then I won't have to worry about diapers again.

Pro Tip Find a "family restroom" with a single
toilet and a mirror. Entertainment!
(as long as they don't lick it...)

2. Wiping Behinds in General: My 4.5-year-old son started potty training when he was 3 and recently has gotten tall enough (he's a little guy) to be able to stand up to pee at the toilet or at a little kid urinal. This has given him more independence in going to the bathroom and along with this more confidence. Mom, however, has not let go of the reigns when it comes to wiping his behind after a number-2 evacuation. I just... I don't quite trust his balance to reach back to wipe his bum without falling in the toilet yet. But he has a knack of knowing the exact wrong times to sneak into the bathroom to drop a deuce... like when I'm in the middle of washing dishes or my personal favorite - changing his sister's smooshed, disgusting, poopie diaper (because she can never have an easy poopie diaper when her brother needs to take a crap). Yes, I look forward to the days of not needing to assist in the bodily waste process on a regular basis, saving those efforts for the times when they're sick and can't quite make it to the bathroom in time.

I'll add to this that I also won't miss when going to the bathroom outside of the home becomes a family parade affair. I was standing outside a public restroom in Ogunquit this summer while waiting for my husband to come out and struck up a conversation with a mom who was waiting for her son. She wasn't with him. He was just going to the bathroom. I put that one in the "things to look forward to" column, even if she was standing outside the door yelling in to make sure that he was OK. She wasn't trying to juggle several small kids in a small stall knowing all the while that a line was accumulating outside the door, listening to you repeat the words "don't - NO - do not touch that!" several times in an increasingly impatient voice with every repetition.

"Most Likely to Need a Boogie Wipe"

3. Snot: Another fantastic way to pay for my kids' post-high school training/education would be for a quarter to drop out of the sky every time I hear some variation of the phrase "Mom, I need a boogie wipe". Now look, I'm lucky in that both of my kids have always been great about actually blowing their nose and not just inhaling it back into their heads, and they're good about asking for a wipe as soon as it drips halfway between their nose and their mouth so it's not getting all over their face. But at peak cycle during a cold - especially if both of them have it - I hear those words at LEAST 25 times a day. Or more. I've never really counted. It's a lot. So I patiently wait for the days when they are tall enough to reach the tissues (and I trust them not to make a disastrous mess of tissues everywhere) and blow their own nose on their own time.


4. Everything Is Dangerous: My 4-year-old son is a fairly compliant child. If you tell him something is dangerous and he shouldn't do it, he tends - and always has - to retain that information and avoid the thing like the plague. As such, he's never gone through my purse and I'd never had an issue leaving it in reach. My 2-year-old daughter, on the other hand, is the kind of kid who needs to learn and investigate things for herself in order to be satisfied - she is the "let me check and see" type of kid. As such things get pretty... heart-attack-inducing sometimes. I now need to put my purse on a high shelf at home because I walked out of the bathroom the other day to find my 2-year-old daughter had gone into my bag (a punishable offense alone for many reasons) and went to the bottom of it, got out the EpiPen, removed it from its medical bag AND its plastic storage casing, and when I walked out of the bathroom had removed the safety cap and was trying to reinsert it where it belonged (and by the way - touching the EpiPen is also a punishable offense because of the seriousness of misuse). This same child several days later had managed to reach high up on the counter (again - touching things on the counter without permission is a punishable offense here because they can't see what they're reaching at yet and may get hurt), pull down a bottle of gummy vitamins, remove the "childproof" cap, and begin to eat them (she's fine).

There will be a time when my children will know not to touch a stove incorrectly, be able to discern medicine from food, respect our private spaces like purses and special keepsake boxes, not write on each other with markers, how to properly handle a knife, and just generally not be a menace to their own safety. That time is not now... but when it comes, it will be nice to not constantly feel like at some point today I'll be calling 911 or taking a trip to the walk-in or ER.

"Evie... you need to give her boobs."

5. Lack of Filter: I sometimes love the things that come out of my kids as a result of not having a filter yet... BUT. Last night while drawing, my 2-year-old daughter announced "Mom! I'm drawing you! I made you a vagina!" To this my 4-year-old son looked over and said "Mom, she did, she drew

you a circle vagina... Evie, you need to give her boobs." When we're at home I tend to have a little more grace with this; they're little, they're learning about their bodies, and the last thing I want is for them to be ashamed of their bodies or to think that their bodies are weird and horrible. But there's also a line for appropriateness that we try to teach them... vaginas and boobs are private parts, kids, and we don't just go parading them around, so please don't ever draw those on your school work because they're special private parts. Or when my kids watch out the window of a Burger King at someone parking their car near ours and then waits until the drivers come in to say as loud as they can "Hey Dad! Those guys did a very bad job parking... they're not even in the LINES!!" Look... guys... it's not that adults don't giggle like kids at the words "vagina" and "penis" or mutter under their breath "Geez... what a horrible parking job..."... it's just that we have filters now. And so we're not used to this lack of filter that you all have. So while the penis/vagina/butt talk and humor kind of makes me laugh a little bit, I am going to continue to pray daily that you don't start shouting it out in the middle of Target - which, by the way, thanks for (so far) not shouting those things out in the middle of Target.

Crap... there was that time you asked me rather loudly if Mickey Mouse was a boy and did he have a penis... never mind.

Look, I know that each phase as their things that you worry about or won't miss or don't want to deal with - I won't even get into the things I'm already worried about for the teenage years. And while these things are annoying, frustrating, and heart-attack-inducing - this is certainly an incredibly sweet phase that I am enjoying the heck out of and it may end up being my favorite once they're all grown up. The fascination, the snuggles, the sweet voices, the tiny hands, the crawling into bed with me at 5:00 AM and going back to sleep curled up with a little one in my "spoon"... it's an amazing stage of life and overall - I love it.

But let's be honest.

Diapers are seriously the worst.

Top 5: "They Didn't Tell Me That..." About Parenting

I've been a parent now for 3 years, 8 months, and 28 days (thanks to the duration calculator I found for letting me know exactly how long it's been - helpful tool). It's been a countless number of ups, several downs, and an infinite amount of teachable moments. I have been stretched, I have celebrated, I have grown, I have felt small. I have never felt more awake and alive and I have never felt more tired.

It all depends on the day, maybe even the moment.

Over the last 3 years, 8 months, and 28 days I've read a number of blog posts, articles, books, and social media snippets about parenting. Silly memes about toddlerhood, heartfelt posts of mushy moments, snarky recounts of grocery store tantrums, comments filled with opinions and advice, technically and medically written articles about the pros and cons on everything you can think of. Between all of the things - you would think that the average plugged-in mom who reads and tries to do research and stay on top of things would have found out all of the things and have covered all of the "they didn't tell me THAT about parenting" that's out there.

Little life-changers. Cute, ain't they? 

But no. No no no. There were other things. And these things that no one warned me about are so minute and silly that maybe you think they're not worth me sharing.

Oh, my friend, but if they happen to you - you'll thank me. Or maybe you're reading this in solidarity saying "OH HECK YES" with every word. Maybe you have your own little things that you've never seen show up in a blog post or journal article that you wish someone had told you. Whatever.

Maybe this is just a means for me to vent and you've heard all of these and this post is boring to you. My apologies. My blog, my monkey. Or something.

So what didn't anyone warn me about...?

Parenting: It's a messy job... and... well... we do it.

Dry Hands: When I was working full-time, I was filling my water bottle 3-4 times a day (at least) and was applying hand lotion every time I got back from washing my hands in the bathroom. My hands were so soft - I would get compliments at the end of the winter when I would get manicures at how soft my hands were considering how dry people's hands get during that time of year. Enter motherhood. I'm now changing diapers (and using their accompanying wipes), cleaning messes, and forgetting my gloves when I leave the house. I am lucky if I remember to apply lotion in the morning and at night as part of my routines. Water... well... I have a bottle, and I struggle to make sure that I fill it 2-3 times in a much, much longer day. My hands - as a result - have been cracking due to dryness for the first time in as long as I can remember. It's frustrating and I work to remember to hydrate myself and my skin - but I constantly fail. And I start over again.

My Clothes Became Frumpy: I stand in front of my closet these days and realize that my wardrobe has changed drastically. Where it used to consist primarily of clothes that I wore to look presentable and at least semi-professional, it's now full of clothes that I don't care if they get covered in snot/paint/food/whatever in the course of the day. I was going out for drinks & apps with Steve the other night and pulled 4 shirts out of the closet before I found one that wasn't covered in grease stains (presumably from turning away from cooking to break-up a toy quarrel or from greasy covered hands diving in for a hug). When did it happen that I couldn't even find a presentable outfit to go out on a simple date and feel like - to quote Michelle Pfieffer in "One Fine Day" - "a woman and less like a dead mommy"? But there it is.

If you haven't seen the movie - after this mishap, she wears a dinosaur t-shirt.
Because that's what Moms carry around for spare clothing. Seriously.

You Need To Remember That You CAN Be Sexy: Now here is something that is never ever talked about out loud. I've read what seems like a million blog posts or snarky comments about women who just don't want to even think about sex at the end of the day because they're sooooo tiiiirrrred and just don't feel like they even want to THINK about sex when their husband gives them "that look". Um... hello? Am I the ONLY mommy out there that wants to remember how the children got there in the first place? And how much FUN it was? Man, my husband WANTS me and I WANT him and... and... I just do. not. feel. sexy. It's not that I don't want to have sex - I just feel like that "dead mommy" I was just talking about and how in the world could he want someone that's tired and has dry cracked hands and looks so danged frumpy. Pick up, Buttercup... do something about it. Kids are in bed? Turn on the sexpot, Sweet Cheeks. Look at him and see the hotness that he is - no, forget that, you already know that. Look in the mirror - even when you're a dead mommy - and see the hotness that HE sees. Even if it's just a fast-action go before you crash - we can't lose that part of ourselves. And we should freaking talk about it more. Out loud. Seriously.

Good-looking AND an awesome dad? Seriously. This guy deserves me to sex it up once in a while.

Time With Girlfriends Isn't Always Quality: I had this picture when I came home from working that all my friends who were also at home full-time and I would get together and our kids would play and we'd be able to catch up and talk and sip coffee. Oh no. Such is not the case. We spend time discussing our kids, chasing our kids, gulping coffee, and lamenting that we should attempt to get together with our husbands (or without) and withOUT the children. Playdates do NOT allow for quality grown-up time. Neither do trips to the mall playground, the park, an ice cream stand, a museum... whatever it is, they're just not times for quality adult time. I know what my girlfriends with kids look like and those without are very patient and gracious with me as I send emails/texts and we have the occasional phone call.

(I bet now is when you're like - oh, Top 5... here comes the sappy "But I Love My Kids" bullet point. Well, you're totally wrong. You already know I love my kids, let's be real. We all love our kids and we all can't believe how fast they grow and we all wish we could hold on to time and blah blah blah. That's not what this post is about. Moving on.)

You Suddenly Hate Yourself as a Child: I was the only one (that I can remember) my mom never looked at me and said that she wished I had a child that was "just like me". In fact, she's occasionally called me "the easy one" - but somehow, I feel like that couldn't be the case. Because I threw massive temper tantrums as a kid. And as a tween/teen I bottled everything up and withdrew until I just completely exploded. My daughter is an incredibly dynamic, intelligent, well-spoken, hilarious 21-month-old who inherited my temper tantrums. How... was... I... not... raised... by... gypsies??? This morning she held a football in her hand while wearing a Tom Brady jersey. Her brother put on a football helmet and said "Throw me the football, you're Tom Brady and I'm Edelman!". She proceeded to have a full-scale meltdown because she wanted to be Tom Brady. What.... the...???? What... I... Mom: I know you read every one of my posts. You've said a number of times that this is just like how I was as a kid. I'm sorry. I am publicly apologizing. No one person has wanted to make me inhale a bag of chocolate chips while hiding in a dark closet like my daughter does when she has a "meltdown morning".

Temper tantrums don't happen while they're sleeping. Just as a heads up.

Look - I love my job. I looked at my husband when we got married and told him that my dream job would be to have two wonderful children and to be a stay-at-home mom. This is seriously the best gig ever and my kids have helped me to grow and expand and get closer to God and learn more about myself than probably any other people have in my entire life. But it ain't glamorous, and it ain't clean, and it ain't June Cleaver.

(Here's your mushy closer... are you ready?)

But for all the cracked fingertips and snot-stained t-shirts and temper tantrums in the world... I wouldn't ever trade it. There's not a moment that I don't look around at the beautiful mess that our life is and thank God for it.

Top Five Parenting Fails in Kids' Books*

I have always been a bookworm. I have several family members that like to talk about how young I learned how to read, and my mom loves to tell the story about needing to hide the TV Guide because I was starting to figure out when "specials" were going to be on. As I grew this never changed; in Middle School I was a consistent member of the 20-Plus Book Club (kids who read 20 or more books outside of their assigned reading in the course of a year got special recognition). I carried that love into high school and college as well, places where reading outside of my assignments became a means of stress relief or conversation with others. Since then, reading has been a means for me to escape reality, grow myself personally, continue learning, or read along with friends or family.

The point is - my whole life I have loved to read, so when we found out that we were having children I got incredibly excited to stock our shelves with my childhood favorites and became giddy when I realized I would be discovering all sorts of new books. Both of my kids love sitting on our laps or beside us and getting stories read to them; on an average day - including bedtime - our kids hear at least 5-7 stories read to them. Reading is huge in our home, which is exactly what I had hoped for.

What I wasn't expecting was the perspective I have on these books now that I'm a parent to cloud a bit of the story. Sometimes I have this nagging running commentary in my head and need to bite my tongue because my 3-year-old and 18-month-old haven't really honed their adult wit yet - so it would be completely wasted on them.

Instead... I have decided to share it here. Aren't you lucky?

So in no particular order... and, uh, if you haven't read these books - I'm totally spoiling them. You've been warned.

1. Are You My Mother? Here we have the classic tale of the baby bird who goes off on a search for his mother. In his travels he meets a chicken, a kitten, a dog, a cow, an old car, a plane, a boat, and finally a "SNORT" (excavator). Why, oh why, was this newborn bird left alone in an exposed nest before he was ready to go out on his own? Well, because Mom was completely unprepared for his arrival. Seconds before the baby bird is about to be born, Mom realizes she ain't got no stinkin' entrees!!! Maybe it's just me - but whether you breast or bottle feed, home birth or hospital birth - YOU HAVE THE FOOD READY MAN! It's not like it's a surprise that there's going to be a baby there eating food soon. You have the time to get it ready. So, Mama Bird, maybe next time you're expecting a baby - wrap that egg in some leaves to keep it warm and get your worms ready. Then you're not leaving a newborn in a nest by itself going off wandering looking for you before he's ready to fly. What if that dog was hungry, huh? I'm just saying.

2. We're Going on a Bear Hunt! This entire book is a parenting fail - an example on what not to do on a family outing. Yes, let's bring our children out on a BEAR HUNT as a fun family activity. Anyways... they head out on this questionable expedition and waddle through some swishy grass (yay fun - ticks!), then mud (which, I mean, who didn't love walking through mud as a kid, fine). After the mud is when the parenting gets a bit sticky. Mom and Dad don't have any towels, parkas, boots, or first aid kids and bring their kids through a deep, cold river, then dark woods where they proceed to stumble and trip, then a snowstorm. A SNOW STORM. A BABY AND TWO KIDS WITH NO PARKAS AND NO BOOTS AND NO HATS IN A SNOWSTORM. This after they had already gotten wet from mud and river trudging... bring on the hypothermia, folks. Way to be! Then, when the kids are presumably wet, tired, cold and miserable - they tiptoe into a cave to find themselves face to face with a large, scary bear. This of course means that the parents now have to drag the wet, tired, cold miserable children back through all of the things that made them wet, tired, cold and miserable in the first place back to their house - WHERE THEY LEAVE OPEN THE FRONT DOOR before going back to shut it and hide from the bear in Mom & Dad's bed. The amount of parenting fails that happen in this book are mind-boggling... maybe that's why kids love it so much?

3. Guess How Much I Love You This was on my list, but when a fellow mom gave it a vote on my Facebook blog page I knew I wasn't going crazy. Here this poor little rabbit is just trying to tell his Dad how much he loves him in as big of terms as he knows how. He jumps as high as he can, he reaches as high as he can, he stretches as far as he can, and he imagines as far a distance as he can to express his love. And it's sweet, it's incredibly sweet. Why, oh why, oh why does Big Nutbrown Hare have one-up his kid at every turn? He shows off his biggerness but stretching, jumping, and reaching higher than this poor little bunny can - when really he can just be like "Oh, Little Nutbrown Hare - that is SO SWEET and SO BIG how much you love me!! THANK YOU!!!". The end is what kills me though... Little Nutbrown Hare is all like "Oh, well I love you to the moon!" and then goes to sleep. And even in that moment of sweetness with his little adorable little bunny asleep on his lap, Big Nutbrown Hare can't savor the sweetness. He still has to get in the last word... "I love you to the moon... and back." Maybe you're thinking I should lighten up, it's just a sweet expression of how a parent loves a child. No. You stop that. Show your kid you love them by letting them love you, Big Nutbrown Hare. Let the kid think he's so big. They like that.

4. "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" This one sneaks the bad parenting in on you... there's an assumption that the trick-or-treating is supervised (lots of parents stand on the sidewalk while their kids go to the door) and that the party at Violet's has parents hanging out in the corners. But then there's Linus and Sally alone in a pumpkin patch in the dark with scary dogs (OK... just Snoopy) on the loose. Ok, ok... maybe there's a parent off to the side keeping an eye on things and letting Linus have his imaginative moments hoping for a Great Pumpkin to appear in this the most sincere of pumpkin patches. Fine. But then Lucy has an alarm set for 4:00 AM to go and fetch Linus out of the patch, where he has been laying all night long wrapped in nothing but a worn-out security blanket and a pair of shorts. ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT. Why was this not stopped at 9:00 PM? Why was this child allowed to sleep out in a pumpkin patch in 40-degree weather? WHERE WERE THE PARENTS I ASK YOU?? WHERE???

5. "When a Dragon Moves In" This is a newer story about a little boy who builds a sand castle during his beach vacation and a dragon moves in. The dragon, it becomes obvious, is an imagined dragon who is both awesome and mischief causing - protecting the little boy from beach bullies, sticking his fingers in the brownies, spraying sand all over his older sister. After the latter happens, the parents put an end to the "dragon business", the boy destroys the castle, and builds another one the next day. So... why did the parents fail? They brought their kid to the beach, let him play in the sand, and disciplined him when he taunted his sister. Seems fine to me! But... what I didn't mention is that all along the way the parents do nothing to encourage this kid's imagining of a dragon. I mean... a DRAGON!! DUDE!! It's a DRAGON! They don't play along AT ALL! They correct his dragon's roar to tell him it's the roar of the ocean, they disregard his insistence that a seagull's feather actually belongs to a dragon, and do nothing to encourage his creativity. Isn't that part of our JOB as parents? I can't tell you how many times I've been "scared" of a dinosaur stalking me in my kitchen while I cook, have pet a series of "tiny horsies", and made sure that my kids have gotten their various other imaginary pets returned to them that have been placed in my hands. Get out of yourself guys and just play along for heaven's sake! Let the kid dream (without spraying sand on his sister, of course)!

Look, don't get me wrong - there's a suspension of disbelief that I generally allow when I read stories to my kids. I don't ruin their experience by poo-pooing on the parents and I certainly get excited at the parts that I think they'd find exciting. I let myself drift back to the times of a small child sitting in my room or on my mom's lap or my grandmother's kitchen table with books and remember what that was like - and I try to provide that to my kids.

But... someday... when they're old enough... I'll let them have a laugh at the parenting faux-pas in their favorites too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*These are only books that I've read. I'm sure that there are others out there - and I would LOVE to hear them so leave a comment!

Top Five Hated Food Messes

I'm pretty sure that if someone were to say the word "kids" in a word association game, many people would respond with the word "messy". It won't surprise the parents out there (or caretakers of children) that I spend a rather large portion of my day cleaning up messes that my kids have made. I have tried to teach them how to clean their messes themselves, but this endeavor usually lands with blank stares, distractions from other toys, or misplaced "cleaning" of things that don't need cleaning later.

There is no doubt to any who know me that I love my children. They are lights to the world, they have smiles and personalities that could win the hearts of the masses (and if not, my younger child might force you to give her your heart... she's a bit aggressive).

But boy can those children make a mess.

In the just over 3 years that I have been parenting and the millions of messes I have cleaned, I have developed a love/hate relationship for my kids' eating habits. I understand the sensory and developmental benefits of letting them experiment with textures and playing a bit with their foods. I appreciate the need for a variety in their diet and not surviving just on mac & cheese and chicken nuggets (though my children wouldn't complain, that's for sure).

There are many messes that I don't mind cleaning at all. I've been known to chuckle and go with it when my kids dump boxes of Cheerios all over the floor. I strip them down to the diaper on pasta & red sauce night so they can make a mess without the stress of destroying their clothes. Paint? Clear out the sink and hose 'em down when they're done.

But there are a few foods that I just can't stand cleaning.

Top Five Food Messes 

I Hate Cleaning Up

Shredded Carrots: My son (3 years) is especialy not a fan of eating just plain vegetables; he's doing that whole toddler "I am not going to eat anything" thing these days. As such, I have to hide them in lots of places - smoothies, eggs, pizza, pasta, baked goods, rice.. really anywhere I can think of - to get him to eat them. One of the easiest and least expensive (only $0.89 for a pound of organic carrots at Trader Joe's!) vegetables you can do this with is carrots. They shred easily, they cook fast, they have a sweeter flavor that kids don't mind partaking in, and are quite good for you. But good gravy... they can be a pain to clean up after a kid has thrown them all over the kitchen. A wet shredded carrot that isn't immediately - and I mean the moment - after it hits the floor is destined to stick there. We have a steam mop that cleans up just about anything, and you have to hover over a dried shredded carrot for quite a while before a hard scrubbing will get it up.

If you're ever at my house and see little orange specks all over the floor, you'll know I just gave up trying.

Delicious! Nutritious! Impossible to clean!

Oatmeal: I LOVE oatmeal for breakfast, and so do my kids. You can add all sorts of dried fruit to it, maybe a little bit of honey, some almond milk - oh man, I love a good bowl of oatmeal. I found a recipe recently for banana oatmeal that my whole family loved. My daughter has just hit the age (14.5 months) where using a spoon and fork as part of the ways she gets food into her mouth are becoming a regular practice. This is also the age where oatmeal gets every-freaking-where. On the high chair, on the floor, on the table, on the walls, in her hair, on her legs. And the stuff is like cement; within seconds of it getting spread thin and exposed to air it becomes virtually impossible to clean. There was one day I didn't get to it right away and it took soaking it under a cloth and a green non-abrasive scrubber to get it off our kitchen table. Sometimes I have to wash the table 2-3 times if I don't wash the table off the nanosecond the kids get up from the table when they have oatmeal for breakfast. Have you tried to do ANYTHING the nanosecond after a child under the age of 4 finishes something? If not - try it sometime. It's the best exercise in futility you'll ever experience.

Tiny Fruit Seeds: You know what kids love? Bite-sized fruit. Blueberries, grapes, sliced kiwi, and strawberries are among some the favorites in our house. It's wonderful to know that I have healthy snack options that I can fall back on when the kids are driving me crazy right before dinner and I don't want them filling up on another handful of Goldfish crackers. But as all parents know - what goes in must also come out. When a tiny person digests bite-sized fruit they also digest the microscopic seeds that are encased in each little berry. Cleaning the diapers on the other side of a blueberry fest can be... let me put it this way. My husband will often volunteer to do diaper changes on the weekends when he's home to give me a bit of respite; since both kids are still in diapers, I do a LOT of diaper changing in the course of a day. There was one day that my daughter was especially ornery and had a full diaper after a family blueberry devouring had occurred. His words as he fought to get her to lay still to me in the kitchen were: "D! WE CAN NEVER FEED THESE CHILDREN BLUBERRIES AGAIN!!!"

We did, of course. Because blueberries are awesome.

Blueberry picking - Fall 2014

Wet Rice: This will be brief. I hate sweeping up rice after a meal. If there's any mess I'm content to let sit until the next meal to clean up, it's rice that hasn't dried yet. If I serve rice at dinner, I spend more time in the cleanup portion of the evening trying to coax wet rice into my dirt pile with my broom than I do any other part of cleaning my kitchen. It just slooooooowly drags across the floor, making you think that maybe it will cooperate but ultimately just moving about a quarter-of-an-inch every time you try to sweep. So you sweep with shorter, faster motions thinking maybe that will work. No. It just scatters and makes a bigger wet rice mess. It's horrible. I hate it.

Watermelon: Aaaah watermelon. A staple at any summer cookout, a must-stock in my kitchen this time of year. There's really nothing quite as refreshing as a slice of cold watermelon. Except in my house we don't do slices. In addition to not giving you good visibility to the choking hazard that are watermelon seeds (and before you say it - yes, we buy seedless, but there are still seeds - they aren't seed-free, just seedless), slices create wet, slurpy, disgusting messes of children. In our house we make "watermelon fries"; my husband cuts watermelons into these thin, french-fry sized pieces. They're fantastic finger food and are still messy - but don't cause the giant dripping disaster that a whole slice is guilty of doing. And can someone please explain to me why it is that watermelon - which is clearly red or a redish-pinkish color - causes orange stains in clothes that are also close to impossible to get out? Thank goodness for OxiClean gel...

No seriously. This stuff has saved more articles of clothing in my house. Pen, grease, watermelon... it's awesome.
And no, OxiClean didn't pay me to say that. But if they want to give me some free gel, I'l take it.

Look, I'm a fan of my kids and I let the messes happen. You don't even want to know the playroom disaster I'm going to look at when I get up from writing this post, or what my daughter is doing to the leftover pancake my son just gave her right now. Making messes, getting dirty - it's all part of being a kid, and I'm OK with that. I don't stop giving my kids the things that make the messes...

...but you better believe that I've been working to help teach them how to clean them up.

"What kind of mess can I make with that....?"

So He's "In Computers", Eh?

There was a point in my early 20's when I realized that I would be marrying a geek. Or a nerd. Or a dork. Or all three. It doesn't matter what terminology you use, I was going to be marrying someone with an engineering-type mind that focused on technology. The better part of my close friends were male, they were into some sort of information technology be it customer-facing or programming, they played video games. I was going to end up marrying someone like this, and I was totally OK with that.

13 years ago this fall, I started hanging out with Steve regularly and the rest is history. As it turns out, he does indeed have a career in Information Technology and enjoys playing the occasional video game. Go figure.

Our wedding day - June 2007

What I have noticed over the years is that it seems like being in Information Technology is what he gets defined as, and I've noticed this is the case for other people who are in the IT field as well. I can't speak for everyone who has the pleasure of working in this often thankless field, but Steve is so. much. more. than. that.

Yes, I just used periods in between the words of that sentence. I did it to emphasize the point. Did it work? I hope so.

As a nerdwife who often finds herself inwardly rolling her eyes at the pigeon hole that her husband has found himself in, I thought I would share with you the...

Top 5 Things People Say/Assume to Steve/to Me About Steve That Drive Me Crazy

(But I would never draw attention to in the conversation because it's just too much to explain without making me sound like a crazy person or offending the one saying/assuming it.)

- Saying that he's "in computers". I cannot tell you how many times when people ask Steve what he does for a living, their response is "Oh, so you're in computers!". While I suppose that this is very true, the world of technology is much bigger than the laptops you get at Best Buy, the Geek Squad, or even the IT help desk department at your place of business. There's a lot to the world of Information Technology that a lot of us don't ever see. My husband is the Director of Platforms and Systems Engineering at a local university. He oversees all sorts of cool projects and things from virtual desktops to email systems to mobile device support to so much more that I am blissfully unaware of. If you ask him what he does, he probably won't give you a fully technological answer. He views what he does as a customer service - providing a service to the students, staff, and faculty at the school he works at. Saying that Steve (or any other IT professional really) is "in computers" is like telling Thomas Keller he's "in food"; it doesn't paint a real picture of the work that he does. (And I'll give you that was a bit of an extreme analogy, but seriously, it's so much bigger than being "in computers".)

Not in computers here. Here he's in an airplane. 

- Assuming he loves (or knows about) ALL technology. Let me tell you: if I had a dollar for every time Steve has uttered the words "I hate computers", "I hate technology", "Why can't this work when it's supposed to just work", or any other technology-bashing phrase over the time that we've been together - our kids' college tuition would be paid for. At an ivy league school. With room and board. Including grad school. Don't get me wrong - there are lots and lots of things that Steve thinks are really cool and that he gets excited about. You should have seen the demonstration I got of the sweet, kick-ass new laptop he was testing out for work. But to assume that just because he gets excited about some technology that he's infatuated with all of it is just silly. Same goes for assuming that he knows all about it; believe it or not, our bathroom reading is not a stack full of "Wired" magazines and he doesn't spend his time following up on all the latest techie blogs. Which brings me to...

- Assuming that tinkering with computers is a "hobby". Steve hasn't bought a computer (desktop/laptop) for this house in about 4 years. While he is usually aware of what the latest & greatest things are in regards to computers, he's not spending his spare hours in a computer workshop in our basement upgrading his own box to the latest gadgetry. Every so often, a new piece of technological equipment will appear that he is excited about - the latest was a home server that he'd been meaning to get since we got married almost 8 years ago. There are about a thousand things that Steve would rather be doing when he gets home from work other than delving into more technology after spending 8-10 hours of his day up to his eyebrows in it.

I will take this caption opportunity to brag that my husband is a 3 (or 4?) time vExpert.
Because he's super awesone.

- Assuming he can - or wants - to fix your computer. What I have learned is that once people know that you're in any sort of computer related field, they seem to think that you also know everything in the world needed to know to fix their computer or set up a network in their house or anything like that. While this is often the case, it doesn't mean that the geek in question wants to do it in their spare time. Reformatting a computer (which is often, as I've learned, the best way to "fix" a lot of the "problems" that people have with their computers) can be incredibly time consuming, and time is a valuable commodity. I know that when Steve's not at work, he'd much rather be spending time with the kids, with me, with our friends, catching up on reading, developing a professional skill or working on some project around the house that he has been meaning to get to.

As an addendum to this - I've also learned that often when a Computer Geek dishes out their advice on what you should do to improve your computer/network situation or avoid having problems again - people ignore the advice and do whatever they want anyways. Before Steve I dated another "computer geek" and many of my closest friends were in that "computer geek" category as well and it was always the same thing with all of them when they gave advice. What was interesting to me was that this advice isn't typically disregarded because of a differing opinion from another "expert" on the matter, but because the individual asking the question seems to think that they have a better answer. My daughter was born a week early because the very competent doctor with a medical background in obstetrics and expertise on the matter of birthing babies said that she had to come out. Going home would have put both me and her at risk of complications. I took his advice because he's got knowledge I don't have. The same goes for your friendly neighborhood computer geek - if you ask their advice, don't think you're smarter on the topic than he/she is. You're smarter than them on something else that they might want your help with someday too, and you'll want that expertise to be respected.

Also he's a Patriots fan... we need an updated one of these with all 4 trophies.

- Assuming he wants our kids to love/be immersed in technology. When I talk about my kids pounding on dead laptops pretending to be Daddy or playing on the iPad or something related to kids & technology, people will often make the comment that "Steve must be thrilled" or "Steve must be so proud" or "Wow! Headed for IT, just like Daddy!". These statements make me roll my eyes internally and think to myself "oh, if they only knew". Evie's "screentime" is a few random minutes here and there using a doodle program on the iPad. Will only gets 30-45 minutes per day of screen time inclusive of any iPad/computer and TV time. When we're home, our phones are usually in the kitchen, on the counter, away from the kids. We play with toys, we run around, we wrestle, we let them help cook, we do crafty things and color and play with play-dough. Steve actively rails against our kids getting immersed in technology and we both lean on the litany of studies that have been done that discuss how too much technology can harm a child's development. Let's not even get into the deterioration of our communities and closeness to each other as people as a result of the dependence we have as a culture on social media.

Here's my bottom line - Steve (and all other "Computer Geeks") is SO MUCH more than a technology-centered being.

He's an absolutely amazing father to our two kids. Their faces light up and they run to him when he gets home at the end of the day. He snuggles them, wrestles with them, prays with them, shows them new things, sneaks them treats, and tries his best to be present in their lives. Steve imagines and plays with them in ways I'm just not wired to do, and it's amazing to watch.

That time he brought Will to his first hockey game...

Steve is passionate about learning everything he can about everything he can. If something sparks his interest, he's researching it within minutes. He wonders about how things work or why people do things or how things came to be the way they are, and seeks to expand his knowledge every day. It's inspirational, and I love it about him.

He has a calling on his heart to help others get their finances in order and is a coordinator for Financial Peace University at our church. Steve recognizes that God has given us each resources to do good work for our families, communities, and the world with and wants to help others reach their highest potential with the resources they have been entrusted with. It's a wonderful thing that he is wired to do for our family and to help others as well.

To that end, he's an "armchair economist". If there is a hobby that he has, watching the economy and learning about how it works is probably it. He finds everything about how economies work incredibly fascinating, and I love listening to him talk about it.

He's extremely competitive and gets creative within the rules of a game so that he can win. It's annoying at times, truthfully, but at the root of it is really a drive to achieve and a level of constant creativity that leads him to be an incredible problem solver.

Let's not discuss what he once did to a Nerf gun...

He's got an extremely analytical, engineering-focused mind. There are few things in this house that he's set out to fix or improve on that he hasn't done. When he tells me he's going to cut a hole in the wall, I don't even flinch because he repairs it so seamlessly you'd never know there was anything missing. He's a perfectionist and a precisionist, and it shows in everything he does.

Steve is an amazing guy, and if you take the time to get to know your local neighborhood computer geek a little bit deeper you'll probably find out that they're pretty awesome too.

Top Five Overrated Baby Items

Our youngest kiddo is about to turn 1-year-old and after now having two kids progress through infancy (Evie's almost at toddler stage), there are two things that I've come away from this stage with:

1. Every kid, every family, every situation is different for everyone - so don't expect that your advice will port from you to another mom (or another kid) seemlessly.
   
2. The baby industry will try to sell you just about anything they can. And they can - because you're so emotional and it's all adorable and you clearly need your baby to be super happy all the time. 

I remember when we were registering for Will there were so many things that we "thought" we needed that it turned out we just... didn't. We learned this either by trial and error, common sense, or anecdotes from other moms that had been before us. Over the course of the last 3 years, I've come up with a list of what I think are some of the most overrated baby items and submit them for consideration to moms everywhere, in no particular order...

Nursery Decorations & Bedding: When we were registering while we were pregnant with Will, a big point of contention was what we were going to decorate the room in. Colors, patterns, whatever. We finally decided on monkeys and palm trees, landing on the pattern of "Ahoy Mate" from NoJo. Now - what we forgot in this process were all the things they tell you NOT to do to avoid SIDS. No big blankets. No crib bumpers. No toys in the crib. So we of course registered for the $180 bedding set and the $50 mobile. Let me be clear - this is ALL for the parent just so you can have a pretty nursery. The kid 1) can't use most of the stuff and 2) doesn't give a rip about the mobile. By the time your kid is old enough to care, they're not even going to want their bedroom decorated the way you made it anyways. We just transitioned our son from his crib to a toddler bed, and all he wanted in there was Mickey Mouse and Thomas the Tank Engine. They go really well with the monkey & palm tree $70 lettering on his wall from Etsy. Bottom line: you can seriously get suckered into overpaying to decorate your nursery for no reason other than you feel like you decorated a nursery. Is it really worth it?

Baby Food Makers/Prep Items: Way to go, marketing people in the baby product market. You have managed to make parents who already own blenders, food processors, "Magic Bullets", and immersion sticks think that they need yet another thing in their kitchen that does the same thing as what they already have. Oh, but you have special containers? That's wonderful. People - I made my kids their own baby food. Boiled carrots, peas, broccoli, mixed vegetables, sweet potatoes... all sorts of things. I used standard pots and pans, a Cuisinart blender that we got when we got married and a couple of ice cube trays we had laying around. I stored the cubes in Ziploc freezer bags. Don't waste your money or precious registry space on a "Baby Bullet" or whatever other food prep system is out there. It's just a marketing ploy BECAUSE THEY CAN.

She told me she was horribly offended I didn't make her veggies in a Baby Bullet.
I told her when she got a job she could tell me how to make her food.

Diaper Pails: People swear by these things and we had one too. We had the Munchkin Arm & Hammer version of the pail because the refills were cheapest and it used baking soda - a tried and true odor removing tool - to keep the smell of the diapers at a minimum. The thing broke on us 9 months into our first kid. Now, the fine folks at Munchkin were kind enough to send us another one for zero dollars (side note - ALWAYS contact the company of your product if it breaks within a year or you lose parts... they'll often send you replacements, coupons, etc. for free), but then that one broke too due to the same design flaw about 1 month into kid 2. We went back and forth between buying a Diaper Champ (some friends had one that used just regular bags and didn't need refills) or just throwing the diapers away. What we learned: at the end of the day, we were emptying the diaper pail anyways - so why not just throw it in the garbage can under the sink? We also learned that most of our friends who had diaper pails were doing the same thing anyways. "But what about when it smells horrible at 2:00 PM?" Well... baking soda is cheap. I dump some on the trash and the smell goes minimizes. Save your money - just use grocery bags, baking soda, and your regular trash can.

Seriously guys... don't bother. So not worth it.

Wipe Warmers: I had a friend who registered for one of these once and my reaction was "Really? That's a thing?" I can't even begin to explain what a waste of shelf space I think these things are. In a society that I think kids are already too coddled, we now need to warm up the things that wipe turd off their rear ends? Seriously? I must be the worst parent ever because I would never even consider having one of these things in my home. I don't get warm wipes every time I deliver a number two, why should I start training my kids to think that warmth and soothing is going to ensue when they make a poopie in their diaper? Forget that. Toughen up, kids. You'll get room temperature wipes and you'll like it.

Three years of regular wiping - and still fine.

Diaper Bags: If I could get back the literal hours of deliberation that went into choosing what diaper bag to put on our registry, we could have gone on three more pre-kid dates. An extra day of pre-kid vacation. We registered for not one, but TWO diaper bags - one for me and one for Steve - and by the time Will was 9 months old Steve's had a rip in it and I wasn't even using mine anymore. I ended up using a regular messenger bag for a while and then when the second kid showed up and I needed both hands, I started to use the same backpack that I had used for the 2 years prior to having kids. My honest advice for diaper bags: just get a good backpack or messenger bag or large purse that you'll actually USE and are COMFORTABLE with. You're going to be carrying this thing with you everywhere for at least 2 years - more if you have more than one kid. Make it something that is actually you and not something you think you need to have. It's just a bag.

See that backpack? It's traveled with me since 2011. Old Faithful.

Runners Up: Receiving Blankets & Bottle Warmers: What I learned about receiving blankets is this: the ones they give you in the hospital are much bigger than the ones you get at the store. We had like, 3 different brands and could swaddle our kid in NONE of them (both of our kids hated the "Swaddle-Me" things, which are AWESOME, but just not their thing). We got a tip from a pediatric nurse about these waffle blankets that are stretchy and swaddle great. Our kids strongly preferred to be swaddled in those AND they use still now. Receiving blankets in our house turned into back-up burpcloths (which you can never have enough of). And bottle warmers... my mom always just used a cup of warm water. Maybe I have no leg to stand on because my kids weren't really bottle fed (one refused and the other just drank her rare bottle cold), but this seems like another thing "the industry" came up with that our parents did just fine without.

Look, I know that some of you out there reading this are thinking "Man I swear by my (fill in item from above) - it's totally NOT overrated". And that's OKAY - I repeat my earlier statement that everything is different for every kid/family/parent/situation. This is what I came away from my first couple of years parenting and my experience with and it's the answer I give to the question "What items did you not buy/would you not buy again and why?".

Weddings, funerals - and babies. It's where they know they can hit your wallet and convince you that you need things you just don't. Save your money and registry space - you're going to need the diapers.

In fact... in hindsight, that's what I would have asked for instead of some of the things I got above that I "really wanted and needed". A giant. Pile. Of. Diapers.

Top Five: Commercials

Last weekend was the Super Bowl (as anyone living in New England is painfully aware and anyone in New York is joyously celebrating), and with the big game comes the annual excitement surrounding commercials. The Super Bowl has to be the only viewing experience where people will debate whether to get up during the feature presentation or the commercials for snacks because they don't want to miss anything.

Having said that, I was seriously disappointed with this year's commercial selections overall. Sure, there were a few good ones (the Seinfeld commercial, the M&M Commercial, and the doggy Dorito commercial) - but overall, disappointing. Budweiser historical context? I thought that beer commercials were supposed to be funny!

At any rate, this year's commercials got me thinking of some of my favorite commercials in general - not just from the Super Bowls - and I thought that I would share some of them with you. Some are funny, some are touching - but (at least in my opinion), these commercials are pretty darn good.

So... in no particular order... here are my...

Top Five Favorite Commercials

Volkswagen- The Force: This is one of the most adorable commercials I have ever seen in my whole life. Poor kid just wants to use the force... and as a woman who's about to be a parent, the outcome of this video is incredibly touching. If you've never seen it, believe me - it's worth the minute of your time to watch.



McDonald's - Mac Tonight: This commercial isn't really that great, but when you're 7 years old (which I was when this commercial came out) - it's catchy. And it gives you something to bond with your 2nd grade crush about (which I did... yes... I used to sing the Mac Tonight song in class with my 2nd grade crush. No, I will not tell you who it was). Anyway, for that reason - this commercial holds a special place in my heart.

Old Spice - The Man Your Man Could Smell Like: Admit it. You love the Old Spice commercials that have come out over the last few years. Between the hot former football player with the awesome voice, and the ripped guy who screams at the camera - entertaining is the best word you can use to describe Old Spice's recent marketing attempts. Next time you're in the store, read the back of their deodorant. They talk about stench monsters and laser robots. No, I'm not joking. Anyways - the first (I think) of these commercials is one of my favorite commercials I've ever seen. "I'm on a horse". Great stuff.



Folgers - Homecoming: This commercial is really sweet... and though I had seen it lots of times, my current pregnant state had me bawling my eyes out when I saw it this Christmas. If you've never seen it and you're a crier - grab your Kleenex.



Budweiser - Wassup: OK - this is me openly admitting that this may actually be one of the dumbest, most juvenile commercials ever made. However: when I was in college, this offered truckloads of entertainment to my friends and I. For whatever reason - one I will never understand - I find this commercial catchy and possibly even funny. Every so often, I do make an obscure reference to this commercial that probably few people understand. The funny thing - I don't even LIKE Budweiser. I actually hate it.



There are definitely lots of other commercials out there that are pretty entertaining (the original CareerBuilder.com "I work with monkeys" commercial, the E*Trade baby in "solitary confinement" in his crib, and several others I've seen over the years), but these are some of my favorites. Hopefully next year the folks who decide to buy the valuable ad-space during the Super Bowl will step it up a bit before they lose their audience to the refrigerator or a snack table.

What are some of your favorite commercials? What did you think of this year's ads?

Top Five: Christmas Songs for 2011

Every Christmas, I find that there are a handful of songs that I could listen to over and over again. "Dominic the Christmas Donkey" is NEVER one of those songs, but over the years tunes like "Last Christmas", "All I Want for Christmas is You", "Jingle Bell Rock", and "Holly Jolly Christmas" have crossed the list. This year, there are - as always - a few songs that I find I can't get enough of. Some of them are repeats from previous years, others are new to the addiction list this year. I thought that this year I would share my favorite Christmas songs of the season with you.

Danielle's Top 5 Christmas Songs for 2011

"White Christmas" - The Drifters: AAAAAAAH!!! That might be something that comes to mind for a lot of you when you hear this song. Why? Because it was made famous in the original "Home Alone" film, and ended with Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) smacking aftershave on his face and screaming into the mirror. With all the versions of "White Christmas" that are out there, this has always been one that every year gets me dancing around while I put up the Christmas ornaments.

"Believe" - Josh Groban: Confession - I am infatuated with Josh Groban's voice. There. I said it. Don't you feel better knowing that I have openly put that out there? I do. Phew! Anyways... this song found during the end credits of The Polar Express is a beautiful, beautiful one - especially during the Christmas season when there is so much to turn our hearts towards and believe in. The spirit of the season can arguably be summed up when one listens to the lyrics of this song closely, "You've got everything you need if you just believe..." (OK... so really that's applicable at MORE than Christmas... but still...)

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - Barenaked Ladies ft. Sarah McLachlan: I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I heard once that this super fun recording of this song was a fluke. The story that I heard was that BNL and Sarah were hanging out at Christmas time, decided to jam and record it, and this song was the end result. Whether or not that's true - I have no idea. What I do know is that the end result of this collaboration is a fun version of this song that is fantastic for Christmas car driving singing, dancing around the house, and Christmas cookie baking.

"O Holy Night" - Tracy Chapman: This is another song that has a lot of versions out there, and I actually spent a good amount of time in the car the other day debating with myself whether I liked Tracy Chapman's or Josh Groban's version of this song better. I landed on Tracy's version for a couple of reasons. The first is that I feel like her voice is incredibly calming which lends an air of serenity to the song that's appropriate - I think - to the holy birth of a babe in a stable. The second is that I love the simplicity of the guitar in this version. It compliments Tracy's voice perfectly.

"Little Drummer Boy" - Bob Seger: Steve LOVES the "Little Drummer Boy" in just about every version, though his favorite is the one by Jars of Clay. Me? I like the song generally speaking, but my favorite is the version sung by Bob Seger. I think it's a combination of the strong percussion in the song with the rock edge of the overall music with Seger's rough voice that draw me to this song. It FEELS like a song about a drummer to me more than other versions (for example: a choir version doesn't really scream "drummer boy" to me). 

There are lots of other songs out there that I enjoy, but these 5 are ones that will get my hand reaching to turn up the volume on the radio when they come on (if not dancing and singing along). Christmas music is such a huge part of the atmosphere during this time of year that it's tough not to have a few favorites. 

What songs help to get you in the Christmas Spirit? 

What makes you rock around the Christmas Tree or belt a few lines out in the car or shower?

Top 5: Summer Reading Suggestions

I LOVE to read. If there's anything I wish it's that I wish I had more time to do, it's read and read and read. I have always enjoyed burying myself in a book for as long as I can remember - which isn't surprising considering I learned to read at a very young age. It would drive my mom nuts sometimes when I was a kid because on a summer day I would often rather be curled up in a chair in front of a window with a book and the summer breeze than outside playing in the park. And - since today is the first day of summer, I thought it would be appropriate to throw some suggestions for summer reading out there for consideration.

So - I submit to you for consideration my...

Top 5 Summer Reading Suggestions

I'm going to throw a disclaimer out there before I dive in that I recognize that most of my choices are a lot deeper in thought than what most people choose to/prefer to read over the summer. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I tend to gravitate towards the kinds of books that make me reflect or challenge me to think on another level. That said... now I'll get started on my list for reals.

The Shack by William Paul Young: I read this book on our Jamaican vacation last year after it was recommended to me by a few different people. Basic synopsis (and I won't explain how it gets there because it will spoil the plot) is that this guy ends up getting an opportunity to spend a weekend in the woods in this old shack with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. What happens to this man, what he discovers, and how the author examines the Holy Trilogy and how we interact with It are absolutely incredible. This was absolutely one of the most powerful books I have ever read and is one that should be read alongside someone you can bounce your thoughts & ideas off of as you go through it. One warning for moms: I've been told by moms that they've either had a hard time reading this book or avoid it because of what they've heard about the story: essentially the main character loses his youngest daughter in a kidnapping while he was dealing with another crisis. (Link to book on Amazon: Click Here)

A Bend in the Road by Nicholas Sparks: This book I admittedly did not read during the summer; I actually read it at the gym over the winter but when I finished it knew that it could have served as a fantastic beach read. It's a Nicholas Sparks book, so you know it's going to be a good romance story from the get-go (checkmark in the beach-read column). The male character is a man who finds himself as a single dad after his wife passes away, and the female character is a single woman who just moved to town and happens to be the teacher of the male character's son. That's all you need to know - anything else is a giant spoiler. I blew threw this book in about 6 sessions of 35 minutes on the recumbent bike and enjoyed it thoroughly. Definitely a great beach or hammock read. (Link to book on Amazon: Click Here)

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert: To put it simply: this is the story of the author's search to find herself after her bitter divorce funded by her publisher after she pitched the idea to them - and she admits this in the opening chapters. She decides to go around the world in search of personal joy, love, and spirituality. The book is a fantastic way to live vicariously through someone else without ever leaving your beach chair, couch, or porch swing. My favorite part of the book that will forever stick in my memory and has since changed the way I try new foods (at least!) is her description of eating and enjoying pizza while on a tour deep in the heart of Italy. I have not seen the movie yet and truthfully I am afraid that the movie didn't do the book justice and that's what I'll find out by watching it. If you haven't seen the movie yet - read the book first. It's 352 pages of the kind of adventure that a woman only dreams about. (Link to book on Amazon: Click Here)

Chocolate: A Bittersweet Saga of Dark and Light by Mort Rosenblum: I read this book a couple of years ago and absolutely fell in love with it. I got it as a random library book, totally unsure of what to expect. What I got was an author who seemingly loves two things: good food and rich history. The book is an account of what would happen if you were to tour the world seeking out the best chocolate, the stories of the chocolatiers, the history behind the origins of chocolate as we know it, and why it is so valued. It is beautifully written and easy to get wrapped up in as you follow this journalist's journey around the world on his quest to learn all he can about chocolate. Are you a chocolate lover who also happens to think history is neat? Read this book this summer. (Link to book on Amazon: Click Here)

The Kite Runner by Khaled Houssaini: I am fully assuming that at this point - most people have read this book or have at least heard of it. This was an absolutely moving story about two young boys from different social classes growing up in Afghanistan. It is a wonderful story about friendship through adversity and is also a great snapshot of what life is like for these two different boys from different classes in a very turbulent area of the world. I could not put this book down when I was reading it and is honestly one of the few books-turned-movie that I have not only been excited to see but was pleased when I saw how well it turned out. If you enjoy what I'll call relatively accurate cultural fiction at all - this is definitely a book to get your hands on. (Link to book on Amazon: Click Here)

There are lots of other books that I could recommend to you that I've read that would make fantastic summer reads, but these are 5 of my absolute favorites that I think are almost "must-reads". There are few books that I would read over again; all of these books are ones that I could see myself giving a second pass to. If you choose any of these - let me know what you think!

Do you have any books that you'd recommend to others? 

What are your thoughts on this list? 

What's on your "to-read" list this summer?