Thursday, May 7, 2015

I Can't Wait... But I'll Surely Miss...

It was one of those nights last night that left all four members of my family at a lower-level of cope this morning.

The baby woke up at 2:00 AM for a diaper change and looking for a nursing. Then again at 5:00 AM, ready for the day.

The toddler woke up at 2:00 AM-ish, presumably due to a bad dream. He did not go back to sleep until after 4:00 AM.

This meant that Mom & Dad also slept terribly after staying awake until after 11:00 PM just enjoying each other's company. 

Of course the first thing I thought this morning as I made breakfast in a sleepy haze was that I couldn't wait until they were old enough to get through a bad dream by themselves, get themselves to the bathroom and back to sleep, find their own glass of water, and let Mommy sleep. 

Sweet, luscious, delicious, wonderful sleep. I haven't seen a full 8-hours since I got pregnant with our son almost 4 years ago. 

Then it hit me that for every "I can't wait until..." 
there's a "...but I'll surely miss" right behind it. 

I can't wait until Evie has finished nursing... but I'll surely miss those daily moments of bonding with my sweet baby girl. 

I can't wait until Will can sooth himself back to sleep after a scary dream... but I'll surely miss his small, timid voice calling for his Mom and Dad in the middle of the night, looking for comfort. 

I look forward to the day that I can get a full night of solid sleep again... but I'll surely miss those quiet moments of cuddling with my kids while they're still so small. 

I am excited to see them start school so I can have more productive days... but I'll surely miss tickle mornings, silly dancing, and little hands "helping" me with dishes. 

I can't wait to only have to cook one dish for a meal... but I'll surely miss the toddler-speak uttering the words "I don't die dis, peas I have some maca-oh-nee?". 

I can't wait to be able to leave my kids in child care without a meltdown long enough to get in a workout at a gym/sit through a church service... but I'll surely miss the big hugs I get from those little arms when I appear to "rescue" them, reminding me that they need me. 

I can't wait for Evie to walk as her primary mode of transport... but I'll surely miss watching her smile that wide smile as she power-crawls around the room, wiggling her little diaper bum. 

I can't wait for my kids to start to get into reading chapter books so I can share with them some of my all-time favorites... but I'll surely miss their little bodies cuddled on my nap as I read them some of their current ones. 

I will breathe a small sigh of relief when my primary soundtrack isn't loaded with kids' music... but I will miss the excitement my kids get when "We Are the Dinosaurs" or "The Elmo Slide" come on the play list.

It will be so nice to be able to have my kids get themselves in or out of a car and into a store... but I'll miss the containment that having carseats and my double stroller currently provide. 

I will be so glad when I don't have to say "No, don't do that" all the time... but I'll miss the giggles that they have when they dump the box of cereal all over the floor and start playing in the mess together. 

I'm excited as my kids learn more and more words and I'm able to better communicate with them... but I miss Will's adorable pointing, and I know I'll miss Evie's expressions and one-baby-word sentences. 

I can't wait to hear my kids say their nightly prayers without thanking God for a cartoon character... but I'll definitely miss their quiet little voices also thanking Him for Mom, Dad, and each other. 

Someday the robins will fly into the yard and Will won't give them a second glance.

Someday climbing up on the "lego box" to look out the window won't be such an accomplishment that Evie grins and gets excited every time she does it. 

Someday I'll long for the days where they took afternoon naps. 

Someday they're going to take their bikes out of the driveway and go to the corner store for pizza and soda on their own. 

Someday they're going to go to a play-date without me staying there with them.

Someday they're going to drive themselves to school, to work, to their friends' house. 

Someday they're going to grow up and I'll miss so much about now. I know this. I'm already living through it with each passing month.

But as much as there is a list of things that I'll miss, 
I cannot deny that there is so much that I'm also so excited for 
what's coming up for these kids as they grow.

You know what?

I won't miss poop in the tub though. 

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