This morning I sat on the floor playing with him when he pointed to the elephant in his stuffed toy box. I pulled it out and showed him how soft it is, and he began to gently rub its head. I then took the trunk of the elephant and gently started to rub it across his cheeks and forehead. After a couple of minutes I stopped and tried to continue playing - but Will would have none of it. He pointed at the elephant, so I handed it to him and let him explore it a bit. I explained again how it was nice and soft while he took the trunk up to his nose and mouth and tried to rub it gently like I had done.
It wasn't good enough. He handed it to me and then pointed at himself. Yes, Sir. Back to work I went, gently rubbing his face while he sat there very still and gazing at me with his big, blue eyes.
After a few moments of this, Will realized that this experience could be taken to another level. He handed me the elephant, pointed at himself, and then pointed at me. Taking the queue, I picked him up along with the elephant and placed him on my lap. A few minutes of Mommy-cuddling and elephant-face-rubbing later, and Will realized that he was still not getting the full experience. He sat up, pointed at his Monkey (his favorite "buddy" toy), and crawled back onto my lap. A few more moments, and he was pointing at his favorite blanket and his Taggie as well.
I gathered up all the things - elephant, Monkey, Taggie, and blanket - hopped up on the couch, pulled Will onto my lap, and settled in. Monkey safe in Will's arms, Will snuggled into Mommy's chest, Taggie to the side and blanket across Will's body. Commence elephant-face-rubbing.
After a few minutes of this, Will leaned back and looked at me again. This time there was no pointing. There was just this adorable, big blue-eyed face with a giant, contented gapped-tooth grin looking up at me. It was almost as if he was saying "See, Mommy. This is the life." The sweetest moment of my morning.
I felt a tear well up in that moment; my entire body welled up with a love that can only be described by the experience of being a Mommy. The kind of love that I have learned no words can describe.
And it was in that moment that my God moment rose up. I felt these words across my heart as a tear welled up against the one that was already there: "Danielle, this is how God loves you. This indescribable feeling... only completely infinitely multiplied."
This is not by any means the first time I have had a moment like this. Sometimes it's when he laughs, sometimes it's when he's in need of comfort. I'm sure it won't be the last moment like this that I have.
What I have found in Will on a regular basis is not just a reminder of what it's like to love someone in ways that you can't describe. I have also found a constant reminder of how deep, how wide, and how incredibly nondescript the love that God has for each one of us is. There is nothing that child can ever do that will make me stop loving him. I might get angry, hurt, disappointed. I might weep sometimes. I might become more filled with joy than I ever thought possible.
But nothing will make me stop loving him. The same is true of God's love for us. He loves us, He loves us, He loves me, He loves you.
Love. Beautiful, unconditional, indescribable, amazing love.
Find your moment today. Find that place where you feel God's love, rest in it, don't let go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)