Restaurant Review: Muffins on Main

When I heard that a little muffin bakery had opened within a 5-mile radius of my home that was peanut & treenut free - I had to check it out with my little guy. It's a rare treat to be able to take him to a bakery that's safe for his food allergies and so it seemed like a great opportunity to have a Mom & Son Date. Off we went. 

Muffins on Main is a small, simple coffee & muffin shop in the center of town. You can tell that the shop owners want to keep it that way; they (very proudly) do not have WiFi, they have seats for 10 people, and their menu is extremely simple: 10 varieties of muffins & scones, coffee (dark/medium/light), tea, cocoa, and juice. That's it. They have found a focus and you can tell that there is a lot of effort in making sure that they excel at it.

The Good:

The muffins were VERY tasty. My son had decided before we even arrived that he wanted a blueberry muffin and found them in the case as soon as we walked in. I chose a French Breakfast muffin (flavored with nutmeg and then dusted with a cinnamon sugar), and we paired our muffins with a dark roast coffee and a fresh-squeezed orange juice. After we finished our initial order, we brought home 3 more blueberry muffins, a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin, a cranberry orange muffin, and a cranberry white chocolate scone as well.

Let's talk about the food itself first. The muffins were wonderful; they were moist and cakey, left behind few crumbs, and had awesome flavors as well. The scone had that biscuit-like texture and buttery flavor without being too dry, which is always a challenge with scones and Muffins on Main did NOT fail at it - to my scone-picky preferences, it was about as close to perfect as a scone can get. We had 2 muffins that survived the first day, and I am happy to report that after staying in a Ziploc bag in the fridge for 2 days, the muffins held up well and were still delicious.

All smiles after picking a blueberry muffin!

The dark roast coffee was tasty as well and it pleasantly lacked that "burned" taste that some dark roast coffees can have. I also thought it was a nice touch that they have vanilla infused simple syrup as an option for sweetener. The fresh-squeezed orange juice was also great; I stole a sip of my son's (Mom has to check on these things) and it was perfectly sweet. Whatever oranges they're using are the perfect kind for juicing and serving; my son is juice picky and he downed all of it quickly and asked me if he could have some more.

I LOVE that they don't have WiFi. After sitting there with my son for a half-hour, you can tell that they are trying to create a small-town bakery/coffee shop culture. There were regulars who came in that they knew by name, they engaged everyone who walked in with pleasant conversation, and there is a sign up encouraging people to free up the limited seating when they finish their muffins. They do NOT want their shop to become a place where people come to settle in and get work done - and I can absolutely appreciate that. It was incredibly refreshing and fit well with the bright, wooden, simply rustic and charming atmosphere achieved with the decor.

Customer service was also wonderful. When the baker overheard me talking about my son's allergy, she ran from the back to remind the staff that the outside gluten-free varieties were not safe for my son. The two women working the register were engaging with my 4-year-old son and all smiles to everyone who came in. When I ordered my son's juice, they offered me a second empty glass to make it easier for him to handle without spilling and without my having even thought of it or asking. They were helpful at the end when I ordered my to-go box of goodies and answered all of my questions both in person and on the phone with cheerful demeanors and a willingness to help.

The "Meh":

There is no BAD about this place which is why I am just calling this the "meh" section instead of the "bad" or "cons" section. Both things I'm about to list here have caveats attached to them.

Nothing meh about this picture...
...except people who waste muffins.

First is the parking. Muffins on Main does NOT have a parking lot, so once you find the place (easy to do) you'll have the park on the street. The good news is that while parking directly in front of their shop is very limited, there is PLENTY of GOOD street parking in a 1-2 block walk from their front door. Further, Westford (I discovered) does a great job of clearing these spots of snow (we went 2 days after 4-5" of snow fell and all of the spots in the center of town for parking seemed to be cleared and wide). So... yeah, they don't have a parking lot but there's plenty of street parking - "meh".

Second is the size of the muffins. The muffins are $2 each and are not that much bigger than standard muffins that you make at home. I somewhat expected the size of the muffins in a muffins shop to be closer to what you'd get out of an at-home "jumbo" pan, but alas that was not the case. Having said that - they are a little bigger than what you'd make at home and certainly better quality/taste; very fluffy, moist, tasty and well-risen, beautifully shaped muffins are what you get from Muffins on Main. While the price-tag is higher than what you'd get from chain places on lower-quality, bigger muffins - they're better muffins, and from my perspective they're safe for my son to eat. So again - "meh". (Note - the scones were also $2/each and were about average scone size - but above average scone taste.)

Verdict:

We ABSOLUTELY plan on heading to Muffins on Main again (and again and again). It's the perfect place to have little family dates and in the spring we'll grab muffins and then head over to eat them on Westford Common. I highly recommend heading over if you appreciate muffins, coffee, and simplicity (and a double recommendation if you have peanut/treenut allergies and are looking for a safe little place to get a coffee/baked good).

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Muffins on Main is located at 40 Main Street in Westford, MA and can be found online at www.muffinsonmain.com.

I was not at all compensated or requested to write this review and I have no affiliation to the folks who own/operate the bakery other than I went there once and gave them about $20 of my money in exchange for delicious baked goods & beverages. 

Ricky Gervais, Bullying, and Why It Matters

A week or two ago, Ricky Gervais appeared on "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" and during his appearance complained about a recent experience he had on a first class flight. Once settled in his seat, the flight attendant advised him that while he would be getting his complimentary champagne - they would not be handing out the complimentary nuts because someone on the plane had a severe nut allergy. As the story went on, I chuckled a bit at the jokes because quite frankly if I can't see the humor in life then I might as well just give up.

But then... then the jokes took a bit of a dark turn, and not just because I'm the parent of a child with food allergies. Towards the end of the clip, he talks about how before he flies he will take a shower and then "rub himself in nuts" so that when the passenger says "oooooh I'm dying", no one will know it's him.

This is the joke that made me cringe. The rest of it, if I'm honest, didn't really bother me because I get it from the other side of things and yes - I even laughed a little (especially at the following "really special service" joke). We live in a world where gluten-free diets have become trendy and where people are faking - yes FAKING - food allergies in restaurants just so that they don't have to have the food on their plates. Only about 4% of the adult population and 8% of children live with medically diagnosed food allergies, yet I read somewhere that something like 30-40% either "believe" they have them with no clinical diagnosis.

So I get it. And so I get the humor in Gervais' basic line of humor in this instance because even I as a food allergy parent think that the trendiness of gluten-free and saying you have an allergy is out of control. People who are just following a trend are giving those whose throats close up or break out head-to-toe in hives or start uncontrollably vomiting a terribly bad rap.

But that one joke - the joke about rubbing nuts all over himself before getting on the plane - that one bothered me. And the reason why had nothing to do with food allergies.

I'm a parent. I have kids. I was a kid once. That wasn't a nut joke to me. That was a bullying joke.

Let's say that it was indeed a nut-bullying joke - which I guess it specifically was - but let's start there. When I was at the FARE conference in May, a statistic I heard that I will never get out of my head is that one-third of kids who have food allergies REPORT being bullied for it in school. 

That's just those who report it.

Let's go bigger than that. According to DoSomething.org, 17% of students report being bullied 2-3 times per month or more. 3.2 million students report being bullied each year.

Again - that's just those who report it.

Someone who ACTUALLY has a life-threatening food allergy didn't choose to not eat whatever thing or things make their body revolt against them when they ingest it. No one with a real food allergy is intentionally trying to inconvenience the people they come in contact with - they just don't want to land in an ambulance or oh, I don't know - die.

But kids - all people really - can be mean.

I had a girl in the 6th grade who wanted to start a fight with me (it got escalated to the assistant principal) because I bought my earrings at the flea market - seconds after complimenting me on how cute she thought they were. In the 7th grade I got sprayed with Raid because my last name sounded vaguely like "Cockroach".

Think of the innumerate reasons that the "mean kids" come up with to pick on others. They don't wear the trendiest clothes or they might speak differently or they smell strange or they eat different food. They have glasses, they walk funny, they struggle athletically, their skin is a different color, they "like" people of the same sex, they wear two different socks, their parents live in a trailer, they have a lot of pimples... the list can go on and on and on. I could sit here for hours and still not complete a list of the reasons people tear each other down.

We all have our platforms from which we can speak out against injustices in society. I'm a parent, I'm a blog writer, I volunteer in our Sunday School. I can teach my kids to love and care and be empathetic towards others and find the best in them to build them up rather than tear them down. I can write here about injustices in the world and ask those few who read this to act in love and not be mean-spirited. I can teach those little preschoolers in our Sunday School about the love of God and how we are called to act as Jesus does.

Celebrities, however, have a more far-reaching platform than I do. Than the majority of us do, really. And when they talk, when they act - people listen. When Ricky Gervais makes a joke about rubbing himself in nuts, it makes a whole group of people who are frustrated with the inconveniences those with food allergies impose on others cheer up and say "YEAH!". What's to say a kid doesn't watch that, think it's funny, then go to school rubbed in peanut butter and sit next to the kid with a peanut allergy?

The good news is that there are a LOT of celebrities out there who are actively speaking out against bullying. Demi Lovato and Ellen Degeneres are probably two of the more well-know anti-bullying activists, but there are many more including our current President.

When we see someone - either a celebrity or someone in our peer group or our workplace or our schools or anywhere - who bullies another person, who picks on them for their differences... we need to speak up. We need to be proactive and show that there is more love in the world than there is hate. It is so much easier to see the negative than it is the positive - but if we can get more and more people to be a light in the world... then maybe the bullies won't get the spotlight anymore.

We have it hard enough in this world without looking for reasons to make others feel smaller, We will and can do better when we lift each other up - no matter what our differences are.

So, Ricky Gervais... well... I went ahead and left a note on his Facebook page (and got several likes/loves - no "angry" or "wow" or "sad" faces, which was encouraging). I was one of many parents and people with food allergies who spoke out against his comments. Anyone who follows his twitter feed knows that he responded to this feedback as one would think he would ("I make jokes about the Holocaust, cancer, and AIDS. Someone just told me not to make jokes about food allergies" or something to that effect. "Warning: This joke may contain nuts" and several jokes about how no one should make jokes anymore because everyone takes things too personally).

I didn't care. I'm not going to change Ricky Gervais and I don't want to. But if just one person was touched by hearing that one-third of kids with food allergies are bullied and tried to learn more about it - that's great. If a parent watched that clip with their teenage kid and it started a conversation about bullying and how we should help each other and not harm each other - awesome.

Use your platform to spread love. We all have one. What's yours?

Food Allergies - The Basics

For those of you just joining us, last week I discussed with you how I attended the Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE) National Food Allergy Conference in Orlando, how I had a great experience, and how excited I am to share with you some of what I learned about what's going on in the world of food allergy research, education, advocacy, and living. As you know by now, our little guy (now 4 years old) has peanut and treenut allergies and it has changed our perspective on a lot of things in a lot of ways. We've had to learn a lot over the last 2.5 years since he was diagnosed, but one of the biggest things we've had to learn is something fairly basic:

What exactly IS a food allergy?

We all are familiar with allergies caused by pollen, dust mites, and animal dander since they affect so many people in the general populous - but not everyone is totally familiar with what food allergies really are. What makes them different than your everyday allergy sufferer? Since we have both of those in our house (yay!) - there are two things that I think stand out to me in terms of differences that I've observed:

1. Generally speaking, everyday seasonal/environmental allergies have a very, very low likelihood of killing the person who lives with them. You don't generally hear about people who allergies to maple pollen carrying around epipens. (Now - sometimes seasonal allergies go hand-in-hand with asthma, which does have a record of hospitalizations and deaths each year - so that should not be taken lightly either.)

2. Taking an antihistamine (i.e. Benedryl or Zyrtec) wonA co't help an anaphylactic reaction (and taking them daily won't protect you from a reaction either). The only thing that will surely avoid a reaction is avoiding the allergen itself.

So again - what IS a food allergy? 

Rather than trying to summarize and explain - take the 2.5 minutes of your life and watch this short video from the National Institute of Allergy & Infectious Diseases (NIAID). It explains what happens in your body when you have a food allergy.

Back? Got it? OK, great.

So for those that skipped the video - when your body thinks that a common food (such as eggs, milk, peanuts, treenuts, soy, fish, shellfish, or wheat... or maybe even sesame) is an enemy, it sends out Immunoglobin E (or IgE) to attack it. When it does that, your body has attacks it and you have an allergic reaction. In some cases, this reaction can become anaphylactic and if not treated in a timely and effective manner - fatal. 

Anaphylaxis (n): Exaggerated allergic reaction to a foreign protein resulting from previous exposure to it (from dictionary.com)

Here are a couple of graphics that I find really useful when it comes to determining what symptoms to look for as well as when to determine whether or not to use an epinephrine autoinjector. 

This graphic explains what symptoms to look for when you're trying to determine if a reaction is anaphylactic -
Remember to "Think FAST"!

This is so important to have in the back of your mind when assessing a reaction.
When in doubt, our default is to inject and call 911 - at least you've done ALL you can.

So you're out with your friends and their son has an allergy to say... peanuts. She leaves to go to the bathroom and asks you to keep an eye on her son - reminding you where the epinephrine autoinjector (the EpiPen or EpiPen junior are the most commonly used autoinjectors) is located. While she's gone - maybe the bathroom is far away or she's changing another child or there's a line or something, but she seems to be gone a while - her son somehow manages to ingest peanut products. Maybe he snuck a bite of a friend's sandwich or whatever - it doesn't matter. He's started to vomit profusely and looks so pale that he almost looks blue. Not wanting to take a chance, you go in her bag where she keeps his autoinjector... now what do you do?

Besides knowing the symptoms to look for, the next best thing you can do as a part of "the village" is to know how to use an autoinjector - preferably the one that your friend carries, especially if you're with them often. For the purposes of this post, I'm going to give you a graphic and a simple explanation of how to use the EpiPen/EpiPen Junior. 

So - here's what to do:

1. Remove the EpiPen from it's case and grip it in your fist - DO NOT put your thumb or fingers over either end. The last thing you want to do is accidentally stab yourself. 

2. Remove the blue locking cap from the top end - "blue to the sky". 

3. HOLD DOWN THE PATIENT if they are a child (they will likely fight you) and stab AND HOLD that thing as hard as you can into the meatiest part of their thigh MAKING SURE TO AVOID RECOILING THE PEN. Recoiling it will just make medicine fly everywhere not not actually administer it to the patient. COUNT TO TEN SLOWLY and remove the pen.
4. Massage the spot where you've injected the pen, lay down the patient, and elevate their legs. If they are vomiting or their tongue is swollen - lay them on their side. 

5. IMMEDIATELY after doing this call 911 (preferably from a landline, but know where you are if you're calling from a cell) and tell them you have a person who is having an anaphylactic reaction and need an ambulance immediately with epinephrine stocked as well as someone who knows how to administer it. This may sound like something they SHOULD know how to do - and many do - but always say it just incase. 

6. NOW contact the parents. Always administer medical care and get medical attention first in the case of a suspected anaphylactic reaction - every second counts. 

I think that the biggest things that I want anyone reading this to know about living with food allergies are:

1. Food allergies are a medical diagnosis and not a lifestyle choice. 25% of people believe they have food allergies, but only 3-4% actually have a medical diagnosis. That might seem crazy, but it gives an impression that this might be a lifestyle choice. It is not - and even some of that other 21-22% probably have some sort of an allergy that's never been diagnosed. Don't take it lightly. 

2. People with food allergies are not suffering. My son is far from suffering - he eats things normal kids eat, he's going to play soccer in the fall, he jumps around playgrounds and climbs like a monkey. He is normal in every other sense... ok, he's short... but other than that he's normal in every other sense. He's NOT suffering. He just can't eat peanut butter and most treenuts. Meh. 

3. I don't want you to change your life for my kid. I just want you to be aware and I want you and his friends to help protect him. I know that not all parents or people with food allergies agree with this - but the reality is that when my kid is in college, his roommate might keep a jar of peanut butter in the room or he might date a girl at some point who loves nuts. I want him to know how to handle and navigate the real world. 

So there you have it - the basics of food allergies. Have any questions? Leave a comment, drop a line, or check out the massive amounts of resources on the FARE website. 

Food Allergies, Our Village, and Why It's Important

Last weekend I attended the FARE (Food Allergy Research & Education) National Food Allergy Conference. As I sat in the conference room for one of the sessions typing away notes, I heard and saw a statistic on the screen that shocked me in my seat.

25% of anaphylactic allergic reactions in schools occur in people - both students and staff - who have never had a history or presented symptoms of a food allergy prior to the reaction.

25% - that's a quarter of all in-school anaphylactic reactions. I thought of a couple of friends I have that developed dairy and kiwi allergies in adulthood - in their mid/late 30's. I could picture in my mind a child playing in the playground, taking a bite of peanut butter or a handful of nuts that had never given them an issue before - and suddenly not being able to breath or vomiting nonstop and being so confused about what was happening to them. 

Another statistic that they showed that to me is incredibly startling - "since we were kids", the instance of food allergies has grown by 300%. THREE. HUNDRED. PERCENT. And it's still rising. 

Food allergies are becoming more and more prevalent in our society, that people have a lot of misinformation about, that is often misunderstood, and that can literally hit anyone at any time. 15 million Americans live with food allergies - and I say "live" and not "suffer" because anyone I know with a food allergy, including my own son, is FAR from suffering - and of those about 6 million (or 2 in every classroom, on average) are children. 

Of those 6 million children with food allergies, about 1/3 have reported being bullied specifically because of their food allergy - and those are only the kids that report it. 

One-third of kids with them have been bullied because of their food allergy... and yet 25% of anaphylactic in-school reactions are people who have never before had a food allergy or exhibited symptoms. 

That is incredibly unsettling to me. 

The theories as to what cause food allergies and what has caused the recent spike in occurrences are numerous and there is no cure or consistently effective long-term treatment (outside of allergen avoidance). But - there are a couple of things that we do know about them:

1. Food allergies are a very real medical issue - not a lifestyle choice. No one in their right mind would choose to live with a potentially fatal food allergy. We, in fact, actively prayed that God NOT give Will food allergies. 
2. In many instances, ingestion of an allergen can cause an anaphylactic reaction which - if not immediately recognized and treated with epinephrine and emergency medical care - can be fatal.

One thing that I've learned since we got Will's diagnosis back in 2013 is that there is a LOT that people don't know or don't realize - but the vast majority of people are willing to listen, hear your story, and hear how they can help make things easier. Most people are willing to accommodate - especially once they understand that food allergies can be life-threatening. I've had moms of Will's friends text me labels of food from grocery stores and I've had people ask me questions and make sure that things were clear before putting them out for the general populous so that Will didn't feel left out. I've had one of my son's friends look at me like I was crazy for checking a label to make sure something was safe for him to eat because his mom had already checked the label - "We looked! It's safe for Will! My mom checked!" - because he wants his pal to be safe too.

By and large, people are willing to learn and understand.

Over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be sharing with you some of the highlights of what I learned about at the FARE Food Allergy Conference - research, tips, what food allergies are, how you can help in an emergency, and more. My hope is that this information will reach many people who will find it useful, enlightening, and maybe even hopeful. Because believe it or not - there is hope, and there is DEFINITELY a lot that is good for those who are living with food allergies.

If you have any questions at any point please leave a comment or reach out to me directly if you have my contact information. Parents of those living with food allergies and those who are living with food allergies want to help people to understand and to educate and to spread the information - I am one of those parents. 

As I share information over the next 2-3 weeks, please share the posts on social media, email, print them out and hand them to someone who may find the information useful or helpful. My hope is that I can use the platforms I have to educate and inform people about food allergies and help all those in the many "villages" of the world have the knowledge they need to be able to serve those in their lives who go through the day-to-day with food allergies.

In the meantime, here are a few links that might help to provide you with some useful information:

Our Food Allergy Story

FARE's Homepage

My Allergy Kingdom - Joint venture between Disney & Mylan

The Reality of Being an Allergy Parent

A little over two years ago, Will had a bite of peanut butter toast that would change our parenting with him for what likely will be the rest of his life. In that moment, we became the parents of a food allergy kid and the most common and comforting of foods would become the most dangerous.

You don't know what you don't know. And you don't know what everyone else doesn't know until you suddenly become in the know. And it's amazing how that perspective of knowledge versus lack of knowledge and lack of understanding changes you into someone you never thought you would be.

This fall has brought Will into the world of what I will call the official preschooler. He's in a one-day-per-week cooperative preschool, he goes to a playgroup once a week while I go to my moms' group, and he has speech therapy twice a week where he interacts with other kids as well. He's getting invitations to birthday parties for friends, we go to parks and playdates, we go out to dinner and lunch and he has opinions and wants and desires and an imagination that he can clearly express.

His bright blue eyes and his wide, gapped-tooth grin and giggle melt my heart and his small, giant hugs could comfort the largest beast. The deep expression on his face when he takes his quiet time, snuggling his Monkey close to his face is just so peaceful I could watch him sit like that for hours.

I understand I'm biased... but my son really is an amazing kid.

As his parents, we live in a scary reality where a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich at a playdate or dripped maple walnut ice cream on a park bench can put our son's life at risk. We've been told to continue to give him the one nut that's been safe, and every time he coughs after he's had some I worry his body is rejecting that too. When we're out, everything gets wiped down at a table before we eat just incase someone came before us that had something with an allergen or brought their own food that may contaminate our son's meal.

You don't know what you don't know until you have to know. And then...you wish you didn't have to know.

I turned around 20 minutes into an hour-and-a-half trip to turn around and retrieve a forgotten Epi-pen. I've had to stop a little girl waving a peanut butter sandwich around a train at an amusement park from sitting near our family - to the exasperated reaction from her grandmother and an annoyed but sort of understanding reaction from her mom. I've had to ask another mom not to put her breakfast that included huge, exposed walnuts down in front of him. I've had to research and explain label reading to the other moms in our preschool cooperative. I've spent a good chunk of time texting with another mom to make sure that the birthday party he'll be attending at their house will be safe (and screened the pizza place they'll be ordering from too). I've had to ask a friend to double check the ingredients to the stuffing she'd be serving at her house for dinner when we came just to make sure it wasn't cross-contaminated with anything that might pose a danger. I debated whether or not to leave a change of clothes in the basement to change into after going out to dinner with friends just incase we got suspect nuts on our clothing during the meal.

And that... that's just in the last week.

And our little guy *only* has two allergies. There are people who have far more that have far more dietary concerns and social situations to watch out for. There are kids whose parents MUST carry around a "safe snack" back to birthday parties and outings to amusement parks because their allergies are so extensive that bringing their own foods are the only way they can guarantee their child's safety. We have friends whose son has milk allergies so severe that he's "allergic to the whole cow" - he cannot have beef either - among other food allergies both with him and other family members as well. Another friend has a daughter whose food allergies made her so food averse as a baby that it has taken years for them to get her to try new foods because she trusts none of them.

There's a reality that you have to live in as an allergy parent that is hard for those who don't live it themselves to really grasp. I say this as a person who attempted to empathize and understand what it was like to live with allergy concerns for years... you just don't know what you don't know until you have to know.

You don't know that exposure to an allergen can cause an immediate extreme reaction that Benedryl won't help.

You don't know an immediate extreme reaction needs an Epi-pen hit within seconds.

You don't know that a hit with an Epi-pen requires that 911 be called immediately and that a trip to the hospital in an ambulance is a requirement.

You don't know that even after an Epi-pen hit, an ambulance ride, and treatment in emergency/acute care that your child could still have what's called a biphasic reaction later on... when you least expect it... including in their sleep. You don't know that this reaction could cause the cycle to start all over again.

Until you live with the reality of a potentially anaphylactic reaction causing food allergy, you may intellectually understand the ramifications of exposure to an allergen... but you don't really feel what those ramifications can mean.

If I tell you that my son could die with exposure to peanuts or certain treenuts... I'm not exaggerating.

Yes, I have his Epi-pen. Yes, we know how to use it and we have a crash plan in the event of exposure. And yes - I am fully aware of how annoying I sound when I start asking questions about ingredients in what you're eating or how psychotic I seem when I dive at your kid when they come at mine with a peanut butter chocolate chip granola bar.

I didn't know what I didn't know until I wondered if I was going to be seconds away from an anaphylactic reaction in a house with no Epi-pen, no Benedryl, and no idea how to help my 17-month-old son make his eyes stop watering or the hives go away. I didn't know what I didn't know until I sat in an allergist's office and watched the bumps of a skin-prick test rise up on my baby's back.

I had a new perspective on what hope is when I sat on the phone with the same allergist and went over the results of my son's blood test last spring and asked for translations of the numbers he was reading off to me... and was told that his numbers were "low enough" to indicate that he will very likely be eligible for an in-office food challenge in a few years if they stay this low.

To think that there's a chance that what most of the world considers normal could kill my son... and that maybe, just maybe the world could be normal for him someday too. Hope.

When Will was 9 months old, he had a severe case of croup. It was bad enough that while on the phone at midnight with our pediatrician to find out what to do, she heard his barking cough and told us we shouldn't bring him to the ER ourselves - we needed an ambulance to help us to keep the carseat propped up safely to keep his airways open.

Sitting in the back of the ambulance with my baby boy, watching the headlights of my husband's car behind us, staring at the face of this helpless, sad little one clinging to his taggie blanket with his giant blue eyes... it was the hardest experience I've ever had as a parent so far.

I never want to sit in the back of an ambulance worrying about my child's breathing again.

And now he has gotten to the age that we have to train him how to protect himself too. We have to remind him every time we go anywhere that he can't share snacks with other kids and that he can only have things that safe people tell him that he can eat. He has basic knowledge of how to work an Epi-pen and has helped me show people how to use it.

It is our job to help him understand the seriousness of his allergies.We had to tell our 3-and-a-half-year-old that peanuts and treenuts could make him sick. Really really sick. So sick that he would go to the hospital in an ambulance and he could possibly die. It is a hard thing to try to explain to a toddler on the verge of kidhood, but it's one of the most important things that we need to have him understand.

That's the reality of being an allergy parent.

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For more information on food allerges and how you can be a support to those in your life that have them, please check out FARE's website.

Also, this Halloween consider taking part in the Teal Pumpkin Project and help make the night fun for everyone.

DIY Epi-Pen Case

Credit for photo of my son Will - RLPhoto (Rachael Lescarbeau)

Ah, the Epi-pen. That little dual-tube of security and terror that folks with anaphlactic allergies (and their parents) carry around with them; an insurance policy in the event of an exposure to a sneaky allergen, ready to protect at the moment of accidental ingestion and subsequent life-harming reactions. 

The Epi-Pen: the Athanas Family security blanket for the last 2 years. It has given us a bit of reassurance at restaurants, on trips, and even just on day trips or cookouts with friends.

And for the last 2 years I have been on the hunt for the "perfect" carry bag. Something that would allow me to have his vital information, basic - but clear and important - symptoms to look for, and clear instructions for how to use the injector in the event of an emergency. Something that wouldn't be just an Epi-Pen at the bottom of a bag with all the regular pens alongside... somewhere... I think?... a printed and folded allergy plan.

Something simple. Something that a childcare worker or Sunday school teacher can just grab, have instructions, have the Epi, and be able to react fast.

I couldn't find one that I liked. I certainly couldn't find one that wouldn't have cost me more money than I thought something like that should cost. And I can't sew. Actually, let me rephrase that: I don't like sewing by hand - I'm not very good at it - and I have no idea how to use a sewing machine. So sewing an epi-bag was out... which meant that I have not had a carry case that I liked.

Until today.

Did you know that it's "Back to School" time? Oh, Target shoppers... guess what?

They have a plastic pencil case right now for a mere $0.69 that fits an Epi-Pen per.fect.ly. 

Like a glove.

I spent some time in MS Publisher creating basic instructions and included a 4-step graphic on how to inject the epinephrine in the event of an emergency (I got that off the internet someplace). 

I spent a little more time creating a front cover that included a picture of Will, his allergens, and who to call after calling 911.

I cut out both and attached them with packing tape (though "contact paper" would be just as good I would imagine). 

I made one for my bag and one for my husband's bag (we keep one in each) to give us a consolidated, grab-and-go tool. It's simple, it took very little time, and you don't need to be crafty to get it done. I feel so much better that this is a shape that can easily be felt in any bag and that his allergy plan/information is right there and visible.

Especially since I am giving you the .pdf file to fill in with your own (or your child's) information.



There.

Now you too can have an insanely inexpensive, easily found and simple Epi-Pen case.

May it never come in handy.

Our Allergy Story

I had always been vaguely aware of the potential fatal factor of food allergies. Growing up I had a cousin who was allergic to peanuts (he was one of the small percentage that outgrow them) and when we ran the youth group at our church I made it a policy that peanuts would not be allowed in the snack pool. I was trained in how to use an Epi-pen when we got our CPR certification and had a rough idea of what to look for in an anaphalactic reaction. 

When I became pregnant with our son, we prayed that he would not be allergic to any foods.

Will turned one and we began to introduce the various allergens that he hadn't been previously exposed to. For the first few months, he didn't seem to have any reactions; he loved eggs, he loved things with almonds in them, seemed to like fish, and never seemed to have any issues with milk, wheat, or soy. 

Whenever we gave him a peanut product of any kind, however, he turned his nose up at it. He didn't have a reaction that we could see, so we kept exposing him to peanut products in the hopes that we would avoid the allergic reaction. 

Will at 16 months - roughly when he was diagnosed with food allergies. 

Early that September, my teething toddler did not want to eat anything for breakfast. I tried all his favorites - eggs, oatmeal, raisin bran - nothing was capturing his interest. In a last-ditch effort, I made him a piece of toast with a very thin layer of peanut butter and jelly on it. 

He took a bite and then rubbed his eyes and face. Within seconds and before swallowing, he had three hives on the side of his face, a runny nose, and his eyes were getting puffy.

I reacted quickly because I knew what could potentially come next. I swept the toast out of his mouth and took the rest of it out of his hands and off the high chair. I wiped his eyes, his tongue, his face, and his hands three times. It was a Saturday, so I placed a call to the pediatrician's paging service and woke up my husband while I waited for the call-back as to what we should do. 

When we got the call, we were advised to give him a half-teaspoon of Benedryl and monitor him closely to make sure there would continue to be no issues breathing. Of course we had no Benedryl in the house because at less than 18 months, I didn't think Will was old enough or big enough to be able to take any yet. I drove as fast as I could to the pharmacy while Steve sat with Will and the phone on stand-by to call 911 if he needed to.

By the time I got back with the Benedryl, the reaction had mostly passed and was limited to just a runny nose. I gave him the dosage and waited with my husband to watch and make sure that our son, our small baby boy, was all right. 

That Monday we brought him in to see our pediatrician who advised that we should wait a couple of weeks and then introduce to peanut butter again in a small amount to see if there was a reaction. At that point, he said, we would pursue an allergist. This was an answer that didn't seem right to us, so we made an appointment with an allergist that came highly recommended to us while we waited and continued to avoid peanut products. 

A prick test showed that our little Will is allergic to peanuts and walnuts. We went home with a prescription for an Epi-pen Junior and an allergy action plan. 

Panera with peanut & treenut allergies? Tough one with a little one...

I'm a lover of peanut butter and walnuts. 

I was sad as I threw away jars of peanut butter and bags of walnuts. I silently mourned at the ice cream stand when I couldn't order maple walnut ice cream and got jealous the first time my husband came home and stripped in the basement to wash his clothes because he'd had a peanut butter cookie at work. I stomped my feet internally when we realized we couldn't go to our favorite sandwich shop anymore because they had maple walnut scones in the wide open on their sample table. That first Christmas when the Reeses peanut butter trees came out and I couldn't have my annual indulgence because Will was always with me. 

Then one day, my heart changed. Because really, when you realize that these seemingly harmless foods could mean potential death to your child - it has to.

I realized that I could become an advocate for my son and for others with potentially fatal food allergies. I could use my influence with our family and friends to raise awareness of what it's like to manage food allergies and how they could help keep my son and others like him safe. 

15 million Americans manage and live with food allergies. I say "manage and live with" and not "suffer" because anyone who knows Will knows he is far from a suffering child. In fact, everyone I've ever met with a food allergy is not exactly someone that I would say is "suffering". They live happy lives, they play, they laugh, they enjoy lots and lots of different and delicious foods. 

It is a scary reality that food allergic people and their caretakers live with, however, that a bite of the wrong food could close their throat, constrict their breathing, and send them to the emergency room in an ambulance - something that happens every 6 minutes in the US. It makes beach outings, dinners out, birthday parties, playgrounds - all things that are normal - a nerve-wracking experience sometimes. 

Growing up and learning how to manage his allergy.
He always reminds me "Mom, no peanuts or treenuts!" when we go out to eat.

I have become the mom that asks the other moms to make sure their kids don't have peanut butter sandwiches at playdates.

I have become the mom that carries an Epi-pen everywhere - even when I have the non-allergic child - just incase. 

I have become the mom that dives at other people's kids at playgrounds when they eat a granola bar and come near my son. 

I have become the mom that prays for treatment that can desensitize people from food allergies. 

I have become the mom that writes blogs to help raise awareness of what it's like to live with food allergies and how others can be a support and a help.

And there are, by the way, simple things that you can do to help those with food allergies.

Does your kid have a peanut butter for snack or lunch at the playground? Make sure they sit still while they eat it. Wipe their hands and face thoroughly before releasing them to play again, and wipe down the table where they were sitting. 

Does your kid go to school or daycare? Help them understand the importance of hand washing. Help them to understand the importance of staying in one spot while they have their lunch to make sure that allergens don't spread. Make sure the teachers are creating an environment that's safe for everyone - even if your child doesn't have food allergies themselves. 

Help to raise awareness by sharing blog posts like this one or other posts about food allergies. Talk to moms of kids with food allergies to learn what it's like and how you can help. 

Learn how to use an Epi-pen incase a friend's child has a reaction while they have stepped away to the bathroom or to care for another child.

Protect your own allergic children by working to educate them, make sure you bring safe foods with you everywhere you go, and become their strongest advocate.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I say it takes a village to protect them as well. Learn what you can about food allergies and become a part of the village.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other posts I've written about food allergies include...

Will's First Made Up Super-Hero - A story about when Will protected me from peanuts & treenuts

Cookie Recipe - A recipe for "I Can't Believe It's Not Peanut Butter" cookies; they use sunbutter and are delicious!

Food Allergies & Walt Disney World - Our experience at Walt Disney World resort dealing with food allergies. A MUST READ if you or someone you know with allergies are heading to Disney!

Allergy Party Guide for the Non-Allergy Crowd - How you can work to put together a party that will keep those with allergies safe. Includes helpful tips for buffet setting and how to keep little ones safe from potential allergens.

Will's First Made-up Super Hero

I am amazed daily at the mind of my (just about) 3-year-old son.

I should note here that Will is a little guy. He's only in the 3rd percentile for his height & weight - which isn't that surprising if you know his parents. The kid's just not destined to be an NBA all-star, let's be serious.  

But it's OK that his stature is on the smaller side, because the size of his heart makes up for it. We have had friends comment on how incredibly empathetic he is for his age. As he's gotten older and gotten more language this has become more and more adorable (if he hears a bang from another room, he'll run in and get close to you to ask "Are you OK? You need something? You need a bandaid?" and give you a hug). The other day I took made Evie give him back his smoothie cup that she attempted to usurp, and when she started crying about it he put his arm around her until she calmed down. He snuggles with her in the Costco carts, he hugs Mom & Dad big giant hugs every day, and tries to help when he can.

Will comforting his baby sister... he's so sweet.

And his imagination... oh boy...

That, my friends, is growing every day. And let me tell you - the kid imagines big.

His favorite thing to pretend to be right now is a dinosaur. My little Will hunches over, puts up his dinosaur claws, and in his biggest voice will ROAR! He will stomp around, declare himself a T-Rex, and be the cutest little big dinosaur he can be. There are, of course, times that I need to remind him that it's time for him to be a Library-o-saurus with an "Indoor Roar" rather than a boisterous T-Rex. But it's adorable.

Then there are the times he declares that he is a Football player like Tom Brady. He's going to run to the Super Bowl, be on TV, and then - guess what? Tom Brady is going to wear HIS shirt!! I don't ever tell him that the odds of him breaking 5'6" and becoming an all-time-greatest QB are slim to none. Instead I let him throw on his play football helmet and throw his little football around the house. I flop on the floor and let him tackle me, I help him practice his catching and watch as he figures out how to throw in straight lines.

Every day is a new super hero day here. Some days he's Superman; one day he was Superman and he flew around the kitchen with his cape several times before grabbing my leg to "save me". "I'm saving you! I'm Superman, and I save you! YOU ARE SUPERMOM!".

Okay, I especially liked that one for selfish reasons.

Yesterday, he read me a story about Batman and on the last page said "And Batman flies - LIKE ME!"

I decided that Batman certainly should fly with the power of a 3-year-old's imagination.

Yesterday, however, I met a super hero that a lot of moms probably don't ever meet.

Yesterday I met "Super Peanut Treenut Man" who saved me from the bad guys Peanuts and Treenuts. No, just Peanuts and Walnuts.

I was picking up some potholders and towels that the kids had strewn about the kitchen while I was making breakfast and getting ready to go to my moms' group when Will came barreling around the corner with a little wooden tree from his train set. "MOM!" he cried, "I SAVING YOU! I'M SUPER PEANUTTREENUT MAN!" and he jabbed me in the chest with his wooden tree.

"You're saving me, Buddy?"

"Yes! This is my epi-pen and I'm saving you from bad guys! NO PEANUTS OR TREENUTS! I AM SAVING YOU!!!"

This went on for a few minutes and as he ran away to go save more innocent victims with his tree-epi, I experienced this bizarre dichotomy of emotions. On the one hand, Will is now coming up with his own superheroes and not just emulating the ones that already exist. This is awesome in terms of imagination development, and it's pretty darned cool to see it happen. It makes me feel even more blessed that I get to stay home and watch these guys grow full time. I was excited to see this imagination milestone occur.

On the other hand... my son's world is one in which peanuts and walnuts are "bad guys" that can really hurt him. He doesn't understand that they don't hurt everyone; in fact, when I was getting him out of the car the other day, he reminded me that I can't eat peanuts and treenuts because I can get sick. Every time he throws up, he blames it on peanuts and treenuts because he doesn't understand that "sick" in that instance means "can't breathe, get ambulance ride, go to hospital" and not just throwing up a little. And because this is the world he lives in, when this was the first super hero he came up with on his own... my heart broke a little bit.

I can remember praying with my husband over the health of Will when he was a baby, and praying specifically about food allergies.

Sometimes God says "No" to our prayers, and I know He has His reasons why. God has plans for Will, plans with hope and for good and not disaster. I know this because scripture tell us so in Jeremiah 29:11, and it's a scripture I have always held dear to my heart. I believe in its promise, and I trust in the God that made it.

So while my heart breaks that this is the world that Will lives in, I take comfort in knowing that God has plans for our little guy. I know they are big plans, big plans with his big heart and his big creative imagination.

Who knows... maybe "Super Peanut-Treenut Man" becomes a real, tangible thing someday with Will as the starring role.

Wouldn't that be something?

Recipe: "I Can't Believe It's Not Peanut Butter" Cookies

I love peanut butter cookies.

Needless to say, with a peanut-allergy kid I don't get them very much these days. But they are delicious aren't they? And I have missed them.

I don't anymore.

About a year or so ago, we discovered Sunbutter: a buttery spread made of sunflower seeds that tastes about as close to peanut butter as you can get without it actually being peanut butter. It's cheaper than almond butter (Will is not allergic to almonds) and my family all enjoys eating it. We've tried a couple of different brands, but Sunbutter brand is definitely our preferred brand.

Recently I decided that I wanted to see how the Sunbutter held up in a batch of peanut butter cookies. I checked out a couple of recipes and put some of the things I liked about them together to come up with the one that I am sharing with you here. As I was pulling it together, I was uncertain about how they would turn out and decided that the gauge would be Steve. He's always honest with me about a recipe that I'm working on and as such I rely on him to help me develop things.

His response? "These are the best 'nut butter' type cookies you've ever made."

Ok then.

I made them a second time with a few tweaks and here is the final recipe. This is a great recipe for anyone who has peanut/treenut or egg allergies and can be adjusted for folks with milk allergies. It's also great to make with the little ones because there are no raw eggs to worry about when they those desires to stick their hands in the dough to sample it. So - go ahead, make some. Enjoy!

Ingredients: 

- 1/2 cup butter (for milk allergies, use 1/2 cup Earth Balance vegan baking sticks

- 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp sunflower seed butter
- 3/4 cup all purpose flour
- 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
- 3/4 cup rolled oats
- 1/4 cup white granulated sugar
- 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 2 tbsp unsweetened applesauce

Method:

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

- I recognize that my next step is probably going to make some bakers cringe, but it's seriously how I make all my cookies these days. Combine all ingredients in a food processor and let it run until the dough sort of comes together in a ball. You may need to stop it occasionally and scrape the sides/bottom to make sure you get everything in the mix. Why a food processor? Well for me I find it saves a TRUCKLOAD of time when making cookies. Also, for the purposes of these cookies it pulverizes the oatmeal which kind of makes a faux-crunchy-sunbutter feel to the cookies - great for those who like their nut-butter cookies with nuts in them. 

- Scoop the dough out using a spoon and then using your clean hands form it into little dough-patties about 1.5-2 inches in diameter. The dough is going to seem crumbly: that's OK, just squish the dough together into the little round patties. The dough doesn't spread much while baking, so I can usually fit about 18 patties on a cookie sheet and get about 3 dozen total cookies.

- Bake the cookies in your preheated oven for 10-12 minutes. They should still be soft to the touch when you pull them out; I find that for our tastes, we cook them for 10-11 minutes in our oven. 

- Let them cool ON THE COOKIE SHEET for 8-10 minutes before transferring them to a cooling rack to finish. If you take them off of the cookie sheet too soon - they WILL fall apart (remember what I said about the dough being crumbly); leaving them on the cookie sheet for a bit allows them to cohere a bit better. 

The cookies are usually ready to eat after about 15-20 minutes out of the oven. These cookies are deceptive; to handle the dough and look at the finished product, you might think that these cookies would be a bit dry all the way through. This, however, is not the case. The cookies are dry-ish on the outside and pretty moist on the inside (I know, moist-haters, but I can't think of a better word). 

Most importantly - they are delicious. 

And addictive. 

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Traveling to Walt Disney World with Food Allergies

When you travel with a kiddo that has food allergies, you put yourself on high alert. Everything gets wiped down, extra epi-pens are packed, menus are scoured, reviews are... well... reviewed. You prepare as best as you can and steel yourself to become your child's food advocate, protector of all that may enter the mouth of the babe.

Then you go to Walt Disney World.

Prior to heading down, we checked in with the Disney Moms' Panel and asked them about what to expect. We did some checking into menus on the Disney Food Blog and All Ears and read up online about experiences others had before us. From what we could tell, it looked like we would be able to go just about everywhere and not stress (too much) about the food that we brought or had brought to our table. We made our ADR's (Advanced Dining Reservations), made the note on our reservations that we had a peanut/treenut allergy, and headed off to Florida.

As it turned out... our worrying about Will's allergies basically went away with the wind as soon as we stepped onto Walt Disney World property.

Since finding out that Will has peanut and walnut allergies in the fall of 2013, we have been nervous just about everywhere we go. We read labels on sample carts, we avoid foods that servers and managers are "unsure" about, we don't go into places that fry their food in peanut oil (gosh how we miss Chik-Fil-A). We brought every Epi-Pen in our possession with us (including 2 that had just recently expired) because we are so worried that our little guy is going to get an unwanted surprise out somewhere that we wanted to make sure we were as prepared as we could be.

The folks at Disney, as it turns out, are pros. No. Let me retype that. They're PROS. All caps, baby.

We ate at a restaurant for most of our meals (a couple of lunches were had in our room with groceries we had purchased), and were blown away by the attention to detail and knowledge of allergens that the staff had. Here are some of the things that we experienced while we were dining out at the Walt Disney World Resort:

Special Attention. As soon as we sat down to eat at almost every restaurant we went to (with the exceptions of T-Rex and Raglan Road, which are not "technically" Disney restaurants), our server notified the chef in charge of allergens for the evening - and that chef came to our table. From the mouth of the source we would hear what menu items to avoid to keep our little guy safe and what items could easily be altered if we wanted to try them within the bounds of the allergies. Buffet? NO PROBLEM. The chef - not a sous chef, not a server, but the chef - would walk us through the line and explain what dishes had what nuts in them and would then personally take our requests for any menu items located near nuts that we would want brought to our tables. Oh - the restaurants that we didn't see the chef? No worries there either; the servers were pretty darned knowledgeable and were able to give us the same rundown as a chef would have.

"This duck best not take my Mickey waffle..." - Evie

Off-Menu Items. As you can imagine, there are some things that are just too risky for us to attempt with our little man at the table. The biggest problem we ran into were desserts regardless of whether or not we were eating at a buffet. The fine Disney chefs were prepared for this, however, and would immediately ask us if we were interested in a plate of Enjoy Life cookies or whatever other special nut-safe dessert they may have had on-hand. For my husband and I this was awesome because we kind of really enjoy desserts. And for the kids... well... who doesn't love special cookies? This also resulted in my son getting basically a bottomless bowl of blueberries at every meal - which he totally loved too.

Counter Service Chaos? No Problem. Anyone who has ever been to Disney (or really any amusement park's counter service) during a high-volume meal time knows how incredible chaotic it can get. Hungry kids and frazzled parents and service staff trying their best to keep up with all of it are common sites at any counter service dining option during these times. This was the most nerve wracking ordering scenario for me because it seemed like the highest risk for cross contamination (if any was possible) due to higher-volume repeat orders. Turned out - not to worry. Disney has this down pat too. Oh, you have a food allergy? No worries. Our manager will personally handle your order which will be delivered to you on a tray a completely different color than everyone else's tray so that you can be assured our staff knew that your tray was an allergen-safe tray. Seriously. Don't stress it.

Stress-free Corn Dog Nuggets & Fries for our Will!

Extra Goodies. Knowing that the small purchased snacks throughout the parks and hotels tend to be made in a facility with allergens present, the fine folks at Disney dining have made sure to cover that for you as well. There were at least 2 different occasions where the chef (again, not a runner - but the CHEF) brought us out some extra Enjoy Life cookies or Babycakes in to-go containers. The day of our flight home, the chef brought us EVEN MORE so that we would have goodies on the plane for our little guy (which - side note - JetBlue has Skeeter nut-free cookies - score!).

To say that we were impressed with how the Disney Dining crew handled allergy issues is an understatement. At one point, Steve (who did the bulk of talking with chefs and servers) even said that he was close to tears because for the first time in over a year and a half it truly felt like we didn't have to worry about Will while we were out eating in restaurants. The Cast Members were beyond helpful, incredibly understanding, and super well-versed about their menus in ways that I always wish other places would "just get". We were about as relaxed about eating out as we had been in a long time (you know... taking a toddler and an infant out to eat aside...).

So if you are a parent of a kid with food allergies and you're wondering if a Walt Disney World vacation is something that you can consider - the answer is yes. Yes yes YES. Walt Disney World Cast Members have shown us that they take their food allergy training VERY seriously and want to make sure that folks can have a safe, enjoyable vacation.

As such - I can't wait for Will to outgrow this toddler eating phase and start to get more adventurous so we can show him our favorite foods at WDW... stress free.

Holiday (or Party) Allergy Guide for the Non-Allergy Crowd

When my husband and I used to lead the youth group at our church, I was always the one to be on top of who had food allergies and to say no to peanuts that may enter the room. At the time I had no idea how serious a reaction to peanuts could be, I had no idea that tree nuts could cause the same reaction, I had no idea how serious cross-contamination could be, and I only had a vague idea of how to use an epi-pen. All I knew was what I had heard peripherally; that peanut and nut allergies were serious business and could send someone to the hospital.

Then our firstborn child Will got diagnosed with peanut and walnut allergies when he was 16 months old. It's funny how what I did as a mindless precaution with children that weren't my own suddenly had to become serious, front of the mind business. 

Our garbage bag filled up with our beloved peanut butter stuff, anything that contained peanuts, anything with a walnut in it (like the bag of walnuts in my fridge), and anything that couldn't tell me exactly what tree nuts may or may not be included in their ingredients. We retrained ourselves grocery shopping to read every label, every time (yes, even things we've bought before - a salsa we've bought for ages recently started to indicate that there may be traces of tree nuts in it). Samples at grocery stores? Gotta read the labels first. Been around peanuts out with friends or at work before coming home? Strip down in the basement, start the washing machine, and put on clean clothes before saying hi to Will. 

Why such extreme measures? Don't we carry an epi-pen or Benedryl? 

Here's what the non-allergy crowd doesn't realize and the reason that I'm writing this post. 

Exposure to the allergens that cause an anaphylactic reaction isn't just a hit with an epi-pen. It's a 911 call and an ambulance ride... and usually another hit with an epi-pen, and risk of the reaction coming back in the few days following the initial reaction. Which can mean starting the epi-pen/ambulance cycle over again. 

Well... this just became "the year the ambulance came"...

I've now been on both sides of the coin and I have to tell you - it's so much easier on the non-allergy side. I've had to send emails out to Will's playdates asking them not to bring peanut butter on picnics because toddlers - no matter how many times you tell them - just can't not touch each other's food. There's a new Chik-Fil-A with a play place opening up near our house, and I'll have to turn down times with Will to hang out with his friends because they cook all their food in peanut oil (and while I can bring food for him to eat, that grease will be all over the twisty slides). 

The worst was when I recently had to tell my grandmother that I couldn't accept her gift of animal crackers for him because they were made in a facility with nuts. My grandmother. Animal crackers. 

Seriously.

I'm now that parent. The one that I am sure other people roll their eyes at in stores when I block the aisle reading labels. The one that feels rude and awkward turning down gifts or dictating what lunches people can't bring on outings. 

So it is with this post that I ask the other 85% of the population (our allergist said that 15% of the population suffers from food allergies) to be compassionate, patient, and maybe even help out the allergy parents and allergy kids (and even allergy adults) this year at your holiday parties. There are a few simple yet super helpful things that we can all do that will help those of us in the 15% category to feel less awkward and like there is a community of friends and family helping us to protect our kid. After all, the holidays are a time to spread love and joy and parties should be a time to relax and celebrate. 

Family parties shouldn't be scary places. For anyone.

So... what can YOU do to help?

1. Be aware of what's in what you bring to a party. This is as simple as reading the labels of whatever you put in the dish and making either a physical or mental note of what does/may or may not have an allergen* in it. I mentioned that we had to switch salsas recently, so don't just assume that there'd be no way something would have any nuts in it. Things I've been shocked or annoyed at for potential nut contamination have been the aforementioned salsa, steel cut oatmeal (it's what Will prefers and there's only 1 brand I've been able to find that is totally safe), some flours. You could even cut the labels off the products you use and bring them with your dish so people can make their own determinations. Which brings me to number 2...

2. Label your dish OR if you're the host provide labels for people to write on. This way there's no question, no random asking "what's in this", no needing to hunt for who brought the thing and asking what's in it. It also makes it easy for you to tell your child they can have this this and this, but not that that and that in one fell swoop. At our church cookout this year a few people did that at the dessert table and it meant that I could find something for Will without belaboring my decision. It was amazing. 2A: Do not cross-contaminate serving utensils from one plate to another - you never know what someone else put in their dish!!! In fact - please bring a separate serving utensil for your dish OR if you're the host, provide additional serving utensils for people to use. 

Something like this would be simple & perfect for your guests!

3. Don't share your food with someone else's kid. Period. Don't offer something off of your plate even if you know it's safe - something else on your plate might have cross-contaminated it without you realizing it. If a kid asks you for a bit or says they want some, redirect them to their Mommy and Daddy to ask them if it's OK. There was one day I went to the beach with some people and Will started to cough in the back seat; all I could do was wonder if he had eaten something I didn't know and whether or not it may have had nuts in it. When I pulled over he was fine and had just choked on his own drool falling asleep... but what if that wasn't the case? 

4. Throw your plate out when you're done. I know, this seems simple and I'm sure you're saying "Of course! Who doesn't!". Turns out the answer is most people don't immediately throw away their plates at a party because they're deep in conversation or they're people watching or playing with their phone or whatever. Think about it. We've all taken a turn being the person that collects a handful of garbage and makes a trip to the trash can asking "Are you done with this?" to everyone in the process. Here's the problem from the perspective of the parent of a toddler with allergies... the word "toddler". Toddlers - no matter how many times you tell them - don't understand "don't eat off of someone else's plate". They see "stray cookie" and they pick it up and it makes its way to their mouths. Will had hidden a brownie in his Batmobile that he pulled out four weeks later and started to eat. They don't care. Throwing your plate out helps the already-stressed parents of the toddler in ways I can't even begin to describe. 

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I want to say that I fully recognize how easy it can be to say "just watch your kid" or "there go the allergy kids making everything a pain again". But take a minute and remember how "easy" it is to watch a toddler's every single move (don't you need to go to the bathroom or eat your own dinner?). Or think of a time that you felt really awkward at a dinner party when someone made something that you didn't like or couldn't eat for some reason. 

Now imagine that happening every time you go to a dinner party. Every. Single. Time. Only instead of a bad taste in your mouth if you eat it, you end up in the back of an ambulance with a loved one beside you praying you're going to live through it. 

All that the parents of an allergy kid want is for their kid to have as normal a life as possible. 

All that I'm asking the other 85% to do is to be a part of the village that it takes to raise a child and help out with that. 

Enjoy the upcoming season of celebrations and thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully incorporating these simple steps into your holiday plans. 

*The eight common allergens are peanuts, tree nuts, dairy, soy, shellfish, wheat, eggs and fish.

For more information about food allergies, visit http://www.FARE.org.